A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Last year I was going out with this girl who came to the UK for one year. I really liked her and eventually got to know her. We eventually went out but there was always this other guy bugging her and I always suspected something was going on. Eventually, I found out! On the very last week she was here, and when she knew I knew, she blanked me... which killed me. Well I had been talking to her best mate and I fell in love with her next and am still going out with her but there is one problem. She always says she loves me etc, sends me texts, emails me and all that, I can really tell that she does care for me.. but I am afraid that I am going to lose her as she lives in Europe and I'm in the UK. I go visit her every 2 or 3 weeks, and I really don't want to lose her. She is on holiday with her school friends, she goes to quite a lot of parties and I am really worried that she will find another bloke or fall for one, or even just get off with one for a joke. Am I being a control freak or do I have something to worry about? I can't speak to her for the next 9 days, which seems like ages to me and I am afraid she is going to have a moment with someone. What should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni do trust her, i guess i am just insecure about myself maybe? i just love her so much!
A
female
reader, carlalalee  +, writes (21 February 2009):
It could work... If theres a will, theres a way.
Just dont be controlling at all.
Ever heard of the "self fulfilling prophecy"
Well if you worry about somthing so much, it will usually happen.
For example, if you worry that your girlfriend is cheating on you and your super controlling, you will probaly push her away. And then she actually might find somone new.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwel, this girl i am going out... was the best mate of my ex gf, and my gf atm knew that my ex was cheating on me...
also, i have spoken to her about it, shes always told me not to worry and there are 3 girls that she knows rele like me, and she tells me that she will neva let them take me away from her. so i am slightly re-assured. but always think that something will happen. just a moment with her and another boy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionye i am in a way convinced that i am being an idiot for worrying. and i am going on holiday with her in the summer, which i cant wait for. her family rele likes me and all, and i love her, she loves me, shes given me head and all that, i have gone down on her.. but what do i do to keep the romance and relationship alive? ye its great i get to see her every 2 3 weeks, but i have exams soon, so wont be able to see her as often. what to do?
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A
female
reader, shiraz * +, writes (21 February 2009):
hiyah, with long distance its normal to be insecure, she might be the same with you! its hard making things work when there is space dividing you both but if you want it enough you need the trust to kepp it alive and strong. without that you wont have a future and may as wel end it now, i know thats not what you want so the trust needs to be there. she reassures you she loves you so believe her, of course shell go out and have fun its normal for your age, you should do the same you both know your limits so stick to them and it should be ok. look forward to the time you spend together, plan it and treasure it. i dont think you have a lot to worry about with this girl, from what i can make out she really likes you yet is unaware how insecure your feeling, its not a bad thing. try talking to her (when you can) and admit your doubts to her that sometimes you do worry because you like her so much and have been let down in the past. she seems the type who is willing to respect you and how you feel so talking to her could sort the problem. also never judge your past girls on the one you have now, no two people are the same and if one lets you dont it doesnt mean the other will follow. best of luck xxx
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A
female
reader, AlextheOdd +, writes (21 February 2009):
 Alright first of all, try not to get to paranoid. Since you have experienced the terrible feeling on being cheated it's going to haunt you for awhile, but don't let this paranoia get in the way of whats really going on. It's amazing you get the chance to visit her that often! I would advise you to be careful if it was a once-a-month-visit type of thing but every few weeks is excellent. Try to hold on until one of you can stay there for the summer and really get to have a good time with each other. Just keep her entertained and talk/do new and adventurous things as much as you can. It sounds like a very healthy relationship just make sure you don't spend to much time together, she could feel suffocated or overprotected and try to rebel or do something to make her feel single again like seeing another guy if only for a night. I wish you two the best of luck and it sounds like your love life is really on its way. :)
-A
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