A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Hi,I would like some advice on how to really convince someone that they mean a great deal to you.everyday i don't see my guy i always tell him how much i miss him and his cuddles and kisses but he never believes me,he is always saying i just say stuff to make him feel good and not because i mean it. Well that's not the case at all i do mean it and i have told him many times how much i do ,yet he keep's on insisting that i don't,it's starting to get to me and i'm feeling like i am wasting my time saying things to him when he keeps thinking i'm telling lies.what should i do say nothing?????? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2012): Thank u all for your replies,I to have often wondered if he had narcissistic traits also.he likes to be spoilt and receive a lot of attention and affection from me but he doesn't give as much in return tells me he deserves it. When i mention that to him he says stuff like I need a kiss,I need a hug,I need a massage (talking about himself)more than you do.
A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (9 April 2012):
 I agree with the advice you've been given, especially SVC's suggestion that you say nothing and reconsider sticking around.
The fact is he does believe you care for him or he'd have left long ago. He tells you he doesn't because he wants you to spend your life going that extra mile to prove it to him. That gives him all the power and you all the burden in the relationship.
His insecurity is a form of narcissism. He's so wrapped up in the possibility of HIM being hurt that he's conveniently overlooked the possibility of YOU being hurt. The sting of betrayal is just as accute for you as it is for him, wouldn't you agree?
Stop stroking his ego. Next time he says he doesn't believe you tell him you're sorry to hear that because it means there is no future and you'll be on your way.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (9 April 2012):
 sounds like he has low self-esteem and can't believe how lucky he is to have a person like you...
there is not much you can do.
I'd say nothing.
I'd also consider if you want to spend your entire life stroking a fragile ego.....
...............................
A
female
reader, Lucky786  +, writes (9 April 2012):
 Maybe he's insecure and unfortunately when your partner is insecure, no matter how much you stay nice things, they won't believe it.
On the other hand how many times a day do you stay these things to him? If you say it 100 times a day on the days you don't see him then these words lose their significance and he might feel a bit smothered by it.
Try and keep your conversations light and don't keep saying you miss him as much as you have been saying it, even if you feel it. When you do say it, he will more likely believe it.
...............................
|
