A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How to bring my bf to knowleadge that no matter how assertive,independent and strong i look like,i dont want to put his trousers on me? I mean, do I have to deal with a one more example of weakened masculinity or its just my problem?My bf and I do have wonderful times,somethimes..I would say somethimes, coz not every time we re on the same wave-length.Im very assertive would say,probably because my mother was also,Strong and assertive and surely was a kind of role for me.The thing is,that my parents marriage crubled just becouse she had to take all the responsibilities that were supposed to be "male"...Making money, taking care of us,fighting all the time alone..She came into the point that my father simply was useless, not giving support,and no making contribution almost to their marriage.Now im with bf(was before) but this time i really care,otherwise would not be writing now here, that loves and i do too. The problem is that he seems not to know my mind..he thinks that i like being a MAN which is not true, but when i see that He cannot make things out what am i supposed to Do? Would give some examples:I usualy pay my drinks, but when i want to be treated i get him into the knowleadge, and he always needs so much time to understand, that it pisses me out,and it ends with me putting my hands into the vallet Sen\codnly,when i go out from his house to mine,i have my hair totaly dishavelled, and i hate being in such state(have to walk on the street where people know me) and consequently always make it done with my hands,which is not easy job(at least for my hair).. I could have brought a hairbrush but didnt, wanted to see if he would have that clue to take one and put it so i dont get pissed out! he doesent obviously...For that reason i frequently run from his house in rush and angry,and he thinks that i simply do not love/like him anymore...Later i feel miserable and in low spirits till the next meeting,which i think you would agree is not desirable state.. So , how to put him into the knowleadge that i do not like the "roles"{ to be mixed up?I cant tell him, probably is part that one gets learned to or not till his 30es,and has taken as normal way of doing things.. Would this work out? Can work Out?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, angelblueeyes  +, writes (12 October 2007):
 Hi, times have changed men no longer lead the roles that they used to, plus its a known fact that they dont think as much as woman do, give him a nudge and shake him into action & say how you feel, i'm sure if he loves you and vice versa you will sort the problem out.
A
male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (12 October 2007):
Stop being so difficult and do what he tells you. It's a test to prove his manhood and your chopping him down. He wants the world to see that you do as you're told. You could be bull headed and drive him away, they you'd be free to do whatever you want.
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