A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I'm an 18 year old guy and I have bad anxiety and depression and it's all caused by women. Not like ex's or anything like that but just I can't seem to even get a girl to like me much less a relationship and it makes me feel pretty down. I don't understand it I'm not overweight, I don't look like someone who crawled out the primordial ooze last night or something, I'm a romantic and I've tried just about everything, I feel like i'm trapped and will be single forever. What should I do?
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male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (12 October 2007):
What you need to do is develope a plan. You need to meet and peronally ask out 100 girls. I'm willing to bet if you do this you will find a girlfriend. It's the same as sales, except you are selling yourself. Work on your sales pitch.
A
female
reader, Midge  +, writes (12 October 2007):
 You are in the same boat as a lot of both woman and men. It has got nothing to do with the way you look, rather perhaps the places you go to find this special someone.
I was in the same boat as you up until the age of about 19. But I have to say, my situation was a little different. I was 18 when I had my first real boyfriend, but 6 months into the relationship, he was killed on a motorbike. About a year later,I met this guy who I thought was great, but in reality, he turned out to be a complete and utter arse! But thats another story.
My situation is different because I didnt look for love or a relationship, it found me when it was quite good and ready. Like yourself, I wasnt overweight or ugly. I just never went to the places that other people went to, to find relationships, simply because I didnt feel comfortable with those environments. They went to nightclubs etc, whereas, I was into my icehockey and iceskating, so I went to the icerink on the weekends instead.I found all of my real friends, and the best of my relationships there. Not somewhere that you would think of going huh?
Dont get depressed about it! Your friends may all be in relationships and you feel like the odd one out, but you will find someone that will knock your socks off when you least expect it. You just need to get to the right place to find her!
Think long and hard about what you like to do, or what you would like to do. Like would you like to go iceskating? Lots of nice girls there, where its easy to start conversation because a lot of them probably cant skate properly, and perhaps you cant either, so you can kick off conversation with a simple thing like, if you bump into someone. Just say, "I'm awfully sorry, this is new for me. Are you finding this as easy as you are making it look?"
Sounds corny I know, but you would be surprised how at ease you will make her feel and if its meant to be, the conversation will not end there!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2007): You shouldnt feel like that, is there an underlying problem? Something else that makes you anxious and depressed?
Its not the way you look that will make the girl like you, are you not very confident? or over confident? Do you say offensive things, not meaning them the way they come out?
You wont be single forever, everyone meets someone, when the time is right. There is no point in getting into relationships that you cant be bothered with, when someone comes along, you will know and make a fantastic boyfriend Im sure.
Keep smiling x
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