A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi all, i have been in a long distance relationship for the last 4yrs. it was gr8 at first but then we had some issues and broke up for about 3-4mths. now everything is back to normal (break up was not becoz of cheating or sth like that.some other issues) and now we have dcided to get married and im not at all sure abt it. i doubt if this wud workout. he keeps very busy coz he has just started his career. so he tends to not spend so much time talking to me.. we try to meet almost every month.. and also wen we talk it isnt the same nemore.. we dont have stuff left to talk abt.. and even if i speak his mind is elsewhere! so i talked to him abt all this. he says its coz we are in a LDR.and it wont b d same if we stay 2gether. but im not convinced abt tht.ive tried many times to tell him this but he says yes tht mite be happening but then does nothing to change it.i dont wanna marry him and then take a divorce after 2-3yrs.what can we do?
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broke up, divorce, long distance Reply to this Question
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female
reader, joburg  +, writes (30 July 2008):
Hi - I know exactly what you are going through and it is not easy. I have a 2 and a half year LDR and I have to admit it is very tough. I agree with lexilou to live together is very important and then you can assess afterwards whether you think this is forever, as emotions become more heightened in a LDR and things seem to be more dramatic. Also do not be pressured by him to make any big concessions (i.e. moving and giving up your job) without thinking a lot about it!
good luck!
A
female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (27 July 2008):
 You need to live together first before you take the step of marriage. If you are not spending time together then how can you possibly truly know each other. Living together is a real eye opener and you will know whether or not he is truly the one! x
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