A
male
age
18-21,
*heZiggen
writes:I started dating this girl about 4 years ago in June. Things were great for the first year or two, all loved up ect, ect, ect. She started hanging out with guys which she told me was just "old school mates"; so I had to trust her, and I tried. Eventually after 3 years (of what seemed a great relationship) she wanted a break, gave me 4 different reasons, one being she wanted to apprieciate me more, at the end of the week she told me that it was because she thought she liked someone else. I was heartbroken and left her, told her I didnt want to see her anymore.Trying to forget about her I started dating someone else for a week or two, but it didnt seem to help, my ex was all I could think about. So I rang her up, asked her to get on the bus and come see me sometime (she lived about 50mins on the bus away from me). She did and things seemed fine again, I still loved her and she still loved me so why put ourselves through more pain and not be together. I tried putting the past behind me because when we got back together she promised things would be different, she said she'd come to see me as much as I came to see her, she'd apprieciate me like she should have done and she'd stop going out drinking with these guy mates.At this present day I feel fed up, With myself more than anything. I feel kinda stupid coz everyone I know have said to me "Why would you get back with her?!"But they dont understand how hard it is, especially after being with her for so long, Her family even housed me when I needed a house. But I feel annoyed with myself because nowadays I dont trust her, I always ask her where she is going, who is texting her and stuff like that and I hate it, I'd rather she gets on with her life without me hassling her 24/7. But she says to me that "things wil change" all these guys will stop texting her and she'll stop hanging out with guys. But I dont want to make her do that. I feel I'm getting in the way of her life, what she wants to do.I dont wanna make the wrong decision, but I think I always do. I dont want it to end and then a week or two later I start craving her again. In a way I think it would be best to let her go but I know it would tear her world apart, It kills me even thinking about it. I dont think using Cannabis constantly for a few years helped me psycologically, It didnt make me stupid but my head is in an odd place and my feelings seemed too hidden for myself to even know what I'm feeling.Sorry It's a quite long story but like I said, She housed me when I was about 17 till 18, so I didnt have my parents to talk to, and since I moved out of home I havn't really spoke to anyone about my feelings or anything. Please gimme some advice if you can. I would really, and mean really apprieciate it. The Ziggen.
View related questions:
a break, got back together, heartbroken, moved out, my ex, text Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, q1605  +, writes (27 February 2008):
 If you love someone, truly love someone and for the longest time knew, and truly felt this love was returned ..felt it in your bones it will compel you raise your thresh hold of what you put up with from the opposite sex. And raise it to a point that you are forgiving someone for behavior that can only be called cruelty and abuse. You feel you owe this person and your relationship with this person every chance you can possibly muster. You indulge even more because if they had not taken leave of their senses they would be the first to see how they are ripping your heart out of your chest. But thats all OK, I will endure for both of us until she comes back to her old self, and then she will be so glad that I held the line. I did it for her as much as me. But there is a line or point along the way that cruelty or indifference can only be explained away as cruelty and indifference. They haven't taken leave of any sensibilities, they are just exposing a side of themselves you've never seen before. It has become sport for them and that is when you can give yourself permission to walk away. Your task is no longer to wait them out..... it is to realize this unacceptable action is truly a component of them. To stay is not to wait for them to return to normal. To stay is to say that you see this person is flawed bordering on pathology and telling yourself and the world you are so desparate you will change who you are and make this temporary unhappiness permanent rather than to be alone. Ans when you are gone don't forget that the woman you remember and long to see again was a figment of your imagination. Like santa claus or the easter bunny and move on
A
male
reader, TheZiggen +, writes (26 February 2008):
TheZiggen is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust a little advice please guys.
...............................
A
female
reader, LizzieLowe +, writes (26 February 2008):
To be honest I don't think that you can listen to people who tell you to leave her etc. You have to go with your own feelings and if it were really time to leave her and you really have had enough then it would be easier to walk away. Something tells me that perhaps your relationship, as tough as it may be, still has some time and you are both not ready to let go. Love is love. It is far from easy but noone is really going to understand how you feel unless they have been in the situation themselves. only you know how you feel and whether you are ready to let go and you're not. You have time so why are you worrying. She will get tired of the texting. It gets boring after a while and clouds your mind. Once she stops she will be much happier...who knows when she will stop...it may take time but as long as she's not sleeping around it's ok. These days everyones texting constantly. It's sad that people are so much into their phones but some people are addicted. The problem is small. You can deal with it. Ignore it and just do your own thing...do something different! If you do the same thing everyday you can expect the same events. Maybe start taking her out to different places so she forgets about the guys and their texts...
...............................
|
