A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am in my late 30s and have never had a girlfriend. When I was younger I was painfully shy and suffered extreme anxiety in social situations. I have now overcome a lot of my shyness and have gained a lot of confidence just through life experience, but I am still hopeless when it comes to women. I actually get on well with women and have had some very good plantonic relationships but when I have any romantic intentions with women I do not have the skills to deal with the situation. I have been in one or two situations when I had a real opportunity with someone but my anxiety and shyness got in the way. I get very anxious in intimate situations. I have never been phsyicaly close with someone and this is seriously denting my confidence. The frustrating thing is that I have a lot going for me and I am popular with most people who get to know me. I am now confident and outgoing but I still cannot make moves with women that I am attracted to. The situation is made worse by the fact that I find it difficult to meet new people and most of the women I know are the ones I see on a day to day basis at work. I do not know where to go from here. I have thought of getting some counselling and I have also considered paying for a high class excort to get some experience of being physically close with a woman. This is something that I thought I would never do, but I do not want to be a 40 year old virgin. Can anyone give me some advice?
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at work, confidence, never had a girlfriend, shy Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2008): How about trying an online dating service or something? there's probably many people on there who are also shy and just looking for a bit of romance; that idea seems better to me than finding "working girl in Amsterdam" or whatever.anyway good luck in whatever u decide to do :)
A
female
reader, Anonny +, writes (17 November 2008):
Hey - don't worry about the lack of experience - it is probably more common than you think! - I have a female friend about the same age as you and in the 20 years I have known her I don't believe she has ever been intimate with anyone either! - Even I was into my 20's before I got intimate with a guy!One day you will feel at ease with someone - and if it doesn't happen just yet - is it really the end of the world? Everything in life happens for a reason and if/when it does happen the lady might be attracted to the fact that you are a virgin!!
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A
female
reader, Teacake  +, writes (17 November 2008):
 I've never ever thought to say this but since you have so much anxiety about it and don't have new people to experiment with, is it possible to visit Amsterdam with some friends and have your first time with a working girl?
You could probably even ask a girl for tips about what women like.... Also there is craigslist all over the world you could place a message.
With all the kids in your part of the world, I am surprised about your situation since the kids seem to get started when they are children. You are actually lucky not to have started so young, because they are going to be really messed up later in life.
Finding a woman who is not shy will help you. Just try to go along with it and not think about anything other than how nice it feels to be with a naked girl.
Lots of touching and kissing is very important and then nature takes over. Women like a man who takes his time making love - so don't rush it.
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