A
female
age
41-50,
*likenight
writes:I was going out with my ex for 5 yrs. (I'll call him Matt)When we 1st met, he was 22 and I was 19. I was in a relationship when I met him, but it was coming to it's end and the guy was really mean to me. So when I met Matt, he was soo nice to me, and he was in college, and said he'd be finished in 2 yrs. So I was like "wow, he's got a future". I wanted to marry him..After we were together for over a yr. I made him get his 1st job (he was 24) and it was a low paying job but I wanted to move out of my mom's b/c she was always with jerks and they were always staying with us at my mom's. Matt said he quit the job b/c they were treating him badly. Long story short, he could Never hold a job, I'd find out he was lying abt. why he lost his jobs, he'd get fired for doing smth. stupid, and he'd lie and tell me he was laid off b/c it was slow. He's a realy Momma's boy. He never did end up finishing college, and he'd always tell me he passed a class, but when I hacked into his college website, I saw that he'd failed classes and when I confronted him he got mad. He started being physically and mentally abusive toward me. He was always in a bad mood, and he'd call me names at the drop of a hat. He never did anything to help around the house, never did anything at all, for ex. he wouldn't even order a pizza, he'd always make me do it. He was laid off for 8 months one time, and I was paying all our bills. I ended up getting into credit card debt just to buy us groceries. We did live together but it was always a struggle b/c he'd always be out of work. It was a constant string of let-downs. I realized I wasn't getting any younger. I ended up hooking up with his friend last year and we since have had a baby together. We're happy, I am a stay at home mom...he pays the bills. I just don't know what to do b/c Matt keeps emailing me, texting me, calling me, writing me on Myspace...My brother even called and threatened him a cpl. times and told him to leave me the heck alone. He just won't stop..He says he just wants to be friends and that he misses talking to me, and the dogs miss me (we had 2 dogs together). I don't want any part of it. I tried being friends with him, and he keyed my boyfriend's car when he met me and ripped up my WIC folder. So I do not trust him. I even called his mom and told her everything he's done and that I want him to leave me alone. He even threatened to get a court order for me to get a paternity test on my baby, even though he knew there was no way it could been his. So I got 1 just in hopes he'd leave my family alone but he won't. I'd get a restraining order on him but he isn't threatening me, he just won't stop contacting me and saying he wants to "be friends" which I know is a lie. What can I do? I want him out of my life totally. And why, after I had his friend's baby would he still be after me? We broke up over a yr. ago. I've tried giving him the benefit of the doubt b/c I felt sorry for him so I would still talk to him but he'd always be really nice to me at first, then he would either do something violent or just start calling me names and saying my baby was going to be a maggoty mutant baby. So I don't want this person in my life. What can I do?
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broke up, debt, lost his job, my ex, myspace, text, violent Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2007): Im the write of this post (again) I have been completely ignoring him for months, & he still tries to get me to talk to him again. So I guess I'm going to have to call a court & see what they can do (if anything) Thank you.
A
female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (21 June 2007):
 What have you left to do, you have spoken to his family you have been nice, you can't go on like this harrasment is an offence and if you fear for your safety and your property then any court should put an restraining order on him.
Take care.xx.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2007): I am the writer of this post. I have told him to leave me alone, several times, and told his mom, and everything. He still refuses to leave me alone. I have no proof that he is harassing me however, and that's the problem. I should have called the police when he keyed my b.f.'s car, but there are reasons why I could not at that time.
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A
female
reader, dimp +, writes (21 June 2007):
He is a nasty piece of work that just cant let go . Firstly dont talk to him on the phone anymore and delete his messages without reading them as it is doing you no good to read them. If he calls and with holds his number dont give him the chance to talk if you know its him, just hang up.
These type of people are only happy when they are in control and you sound like the only lady that paid attention to him for such a long period of time.The only way he will eventually give up is if he realises he is getting absolutely no reaction from you.
My ex husband was the same and because he couldnt win with words used mental and physical abuse instead.These type of men manipulate you till they know they have empowered you and then will try to grind you down. They are usually insecure and weak but will never admit it, but will always say nasty things when they realise they dont have the upper hand or are losing you from their grip.Its all a big mind game and at least you managed to get away (it took me 12 yrs).You also had to cope with all the big problems whilst living together(money etc) which is what he has always been used to at home with mummy.As regards My space cant you delete him or block him as a contact? or at least contact My Space and find out what can be done. But dont try and be nice because thats a sign of weakness to him. Just dont react or speak to him and concentrate on ur partner and beautiful child.It took my ex 4 months to back off when I did all this. Hope this bit of advice helps xx
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A
female
reader, Crayons +, writes (21 June 2007):
He's harassing you, this can go to court. You need to calmly let him know that he can get in serious trouble for this. Destruction of property and all thAt.
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