A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I try to mix things up sexually with my gf but new things don't seem to work.I try to give oral sex but once she finishes from that she doesn't want to continue. Same every time she orgasms, she cannot continue. I don't mind this and am happy that she finishes but I want to make things more exciting to her.She usually ends up on top as it's easiest for her. I don't want things to get boring though. I ask her what she likes and wants but she's very closed to discussion and says it's fine the way it is. She has also said at times it has hurt or she is sore afterwards which really worries me. I ask her how I can top that but she once again says I don't need to change anything.I leaves me concerned that I'm doing something wrong or hurting her and that she just wants to get it over with or something. What can I do for her and how can I encourage her to talk to me more about it?Many thanks
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female
reader, Atsweet1  +, writes (17 December 2013):
 Okay Ive been researching about that womens version of cant perform after orgasm its no answer. It can be worked on like you said talk about. I would feel at times like darn it takes alot of energy for me to get there and I just tap out at times after word at times I go on even still. Its alot of factors involve communication for one then work then if your tired or not also how much time you got. Its about enjoyment and relaxing through lifes stresses. Dont try to make it complicated enjoy. At time people just go through the motions with love making it can be worked out if no complaints dont worry.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 December 2013):
 nope sounds like all is well and you are worrying for nothing
she's having orgasms... she's happy you've asked and she says all is fine... why don't you believe her?
sometimes for women we are sore the next day but not during the sex itself.... it sounds normal to me.
you've asked and she has said it's fine why don't you believe her?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2013): Wow it sounds like your doing a really good job, you needn't worry! She's totally satisfied.It seems she's got nothing to complain about and isn't asking you to do anything different because your good at satisfying her.But what about you? She says she likes to go on top because it's easier for her but where do you come in? When she finishes it's selfish that she stops right there and doesn't let you finish, there's no wonder you want to spice things up because she may not be satisfying you. It seems like she's not open or comfortable talking about sex so talking may not be the answer but maybe tricks in the act might help.. Try pausing before shes on the brink of climaxing, stop what your doing and switch position or do something else. The build up will not only make it amazing for her but for you too, you get the chance to enjoy sex rather than focusing on making her climax. She will learn to enjoy it and be more pleasing to you and try different things .Trust me she won't be complaining about being hurt because from a woman it doesn't start to ache until you've cum once or twice. It's only an excuse to not carry on since she's already climaxed and enjoyed it. Which is slightly selfish!! Good luck and happy experimenting!
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