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I don't want anything serious, should ask my friend for something casual?

Tagged as: Friends, Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 March 2012) 2 Answers - (Newest, 26 March 2012)
A male Portugal age 30-35, *asenai writes:

There's a friend I met at college by the start of October 2011. We are not really close friends, but we hang out well in college. I'd say I'm the person she talks the most to in college, although the person I'm the closest to in college is another girl who I am in love with and already confessed, but it wasn't reciprocal.

The past two months I started to get the feeling she might be interested in me. Not only I'm the one at college she talks the most to, she usually touches me a lot, teases me, or sometimes even starts massaging me. There was even one time we were in a classroom doing a college work she ran to a chair I was gonna sit on, and then invited me to sin on her lap saying "come sit on mommy's lap!".

She also kept offering herself to help me doing some crafting work for a cosplay project I was doing whenever I mentioned it, telling me to come to her home. There was also one time she said we could both go play Final Fantasy XIII together at her home on vacations (it was one time only though, and she never mentioned it anymore). More recently, she ask me through messenger to go watch Hugo at the cinema with her. I tried to test the situation by saying "nice, let's invite the other guys too". To which she replied "oh, I meant to watch it with YOU! LOL, I'm joking, they can come too". I believe she asked me once again after that, but never mentioned it anymore.

I think she sometimes gazes at my face when we are near, but tbh I'm not totally sure of that.

So I'm now confused whether she is interested in me or just being friendly. Note that she is a very outgoing person, very social, talkative, kind of a rebel who has the guts and shame to tell anyone her own mind. Myself am an observant, kind of the silent type who doesn't really standout, calculist and not really social. Although I think I talk to her in a more "arrogant" way than to most people (my crush for example), I don't see how my character would attract her kind, plus, I'm just 18 and she's almost 23. Moreover, it could just be her being outgoing, and I should add that I'm probably the only male friend she has in college, even though she ocasionally speaks with other guys.

Well, tbh I do not enjoy the idea of us having a serious relationship as I do not like her; like I said I already have someone else I like (whom I should forget, since she doesn't like me back). However, I can't deny I'm starting to feel some kind of sexual tension towards her, and I really wouldn't mind having something casual, non-serious with her. She's totally open minded when talking about sex and such, but I'm not sure how she would react if I try to approach her with this matter, nor I'm not sure she really does like me or is just being friendly her own way, like I said. I'm very afraid that things will get really awkward or mad if I ask her that and she doesn't really feel that way for me. Do you think she does like me? Is it worthy risking everything and ask her for casual sex or should I wait for her to make the move?

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (26 March 2012):

Tisha-1 agony aunt"I do not like her."

That's all you need to remember. You don't like her. She'll figure that out soon enough.

I'd just move on to someone you DO like and perhaps you won't be confused then.

Good luck.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (25 March 2012):

Ciar agony auntLosing a good friend for something non essential isn't worth the risk in my book, but I'm not you and we're not talking about me.

If you ask her it may turn out to be great. For a while anyway, but more often than not someone develops feelings for the other (and it's just as often the guy so don't think you're immune).

On the other hand she may enjoy your company because you haven't hit on her. She thinks she can relax and be herself with you.

I suppose you have to ask yourself what you value more; good friends or a romp in the sack.

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