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writes: Hello dearcupid, I've gotten great advice here before so now I'm back again. I have been seeing somebody for the last 10 months. I ended up falling deeply in love with him. He's the drama, when we first met it wasn't long before he found out she was pregnant wit his baby. They also have 2 other kids together. They have remained split up all this time. She doesn't know about me. None of his family know about me. I do believe that he loves me. He will not leave me alone. The problem is that i can never accept him. I dont accept the baggage and i do not trust him. He kept me a secret too long. In a way i understood why he kept me a secret coz his and her family were upset wen they broke up and tried to get them back together. I just wish that he would leave me alone. I blocked him from facebook nd blocked his number but when he withheld his number he was able to get through to me. His words go right through me. I do love him and find it very difficult to reject him. The question i am asking is how can i stop being so weak? How can i stop myself from loving him, our chemistry is indescribable! It kills me to go on without him in my life, he calls me his soulmate. I just dont kno how to get past this. And it's all my own fault! :( xx
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (29 October 2014):
 Just because he CALLS you his soulmate, doesn't mean that you ARE his soulmate. And it certainly doesn't mean you CAN'T find a BETTER guy with a LOT less baggage and drama.
His life is kind of sucky - having 3 (THREE!!!!) kids with a woman he obviously no longer really love Or respect. YET, he hasn't taken the steps to really become single in the sense, that people AROUND him knows what's up. HE is more concerned with his ex and his/her family. Which means NO OTHER girl stands a chance with him till he can muster some courage and a set of nuts and BE his own man. Which I kind of doubt will ever happen. A GROWN man keeping his GF a "secret" because he is worried what his ex/family with think? That is ONE useless BF!
When you two first met - you said, he soon found out she (the "ex) was pregnant which means.. they were INTIMATE and HAVING SEX not that long before he met you. Which means... HE WASN'T OVER her or DONe with her. And for him to be so CARELESS to not use protection and creating a 3rd child, says a LOT about him, none which makes him a "keeper".
My advice, GET a new phone number. Or if he calls TELL him to STOP bothering you and HANG up. YOU DO NOT OWE him to chat with him any more. And you WILL not find a way to move on and find a BETTER suited guy for you if you LET HIM keep tabs on you.
He obviously have a way with words and that is why I would suggest you get a new number (one he can't get his hands on) and let people who know him, KNOW that you do NOT want him to have this new number) Sooner or later he will find someone else to play his mind-screw games with.
Listen, PLEASE listen to your gut.... It's TELLING you he is no good for you. WANT more for yourself!
A
female
reader, RubyBirtle  +, writes (29 October 2014):
If you really want him out of your life you may have to resort to stronger measures.Change your mobile phone number - yes, it might be a hassle but it's worth it to get someone out of your life. Or just make sure that you never answer unknown or withheld numbers (but then you need good willpower)Change your email address if you can't block him or if he keeps trying to contact you from alternative email addresses.If he tries turning up at your home, don't engage in conversation with him. Just keep the door firmly closed, close the curtains and turn up the music (or put some earplugs in). Call the police if he's particularly vocal or persistant.Keep yourself busy (either physically or mentally) during this painful time and get support from your friends or family. Spend time with them.You can't stop yourself from loving him immediately but these feeling will eventually fade if you continue and persist with no contact and move on with your life.
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