A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Hi all I am a 16 yo female. I'm looking for some help. Recently all my friends have been losing their virginity and I'm jealous, not because they are having sex, but because they are confident enough to allow another person to see them naked. I really dislike the way I look and I refuse to look in the mirror naked. Part of this problem is due to me having a stretched labia (I think that's what it's called) at one side and I know that this is not normal via sex ed classes. I also struggle with the idea of sex. My mum and dad where in an abusive relationship as my dad got mad a lot and vented his anger at her and me. I am now able to cope with all this due to counciling and they have been divorced for 5 years. When I was 8/9 they separated and I was honestly happy my dad came to visit me but I was playing in the garden so he went to talk to my mum when I went in I couldn't find them so went upstairs and found them having sex. My mum later tried to have the talk with me but she wasn't nice about it and told me that it's none of my business. Since then I've always seen sex as a bad thing, how could she sleep with him but tell me that she hated him? I just want some help dealing with these issues.. Thank you
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2015): This should have been done in counselling.You walked in on mum and dad having sex,but shehad said she hated him so you were left feeling confused and a bit bereft because you were just an innocent child. Your mum reacted badly because she was caught in the act! She probably still wanted you to believe in santa and storks carrying babies in baskets over rooftops.She ducked her early responsiblilties of telling how babies are made and then you inherited feelings of guilt because they were embarressed and acted oddly.Some mums would just say "oh sweetie we were just trying to make you a brother or sister!" But mum left herself with no doors open for discussion because she had vented on you earlier that she hated himand hadntdone the groundwork for a proper discussion in a way thatwould makesense to you at that age.Now your sixteen your assessing everything.There is nothing wrongwith yourbodyor your labiayou are not ready to trust anyone yet and are not in a competition for sexual experience.Take your time.Half of yourfriends will be lying about their bunkups, shagging, kissing, touching and bjs anyway.
A
female
reader, natashasingh  +, writes (17 September 2015):
First of all you need to love yourself.. And about losing virginity there is a time for everything.. Lose virginity not just for a show-off or time pass or else you'll regret that in future. Lose virginity with someone whom you trust and love. And remember Sex isn't a bad thing. While for your other problems you need to be positive and think what you want sooner or later it will be there ??. Hope that you'll be fine.
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