A
female
age
36-40,
*upidlover89
writes:I have been seeing this man for about a year now. The other night he made a comment/question that I'm a little confused about. This is what he said " if you have so many options then what are you doing here with me?". I was not sure how to answer him because I was not sure if he was insulting me? Or if he was making an insecure statement? Or if he was trying to ask me how I felt about him, and what makes me choose him over other guys? Can someone please give me their opinion on this?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 April 2012):
 Did you ASK HIM?
A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (11 April 2012):
 Just ask him
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A
female
reader, cupidlover89 +, writes (11 April 2012):
cupidlover89 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe thing is I was not talking about other men, or pushing any buttons...
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (9 April 2012):
You must have told him you were in demand before he made the comment Its the only reason a guy would say this.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2012): Sounds like he was responding to you trying to push his buttons, like trying to make him jealous to see if he cares. I think his response was to call your bluff, saying "then what are you doing here then?" Obviously, he was your best option or you wouldn't be there with him! I'm guessing this is a casual sex arrangement and he has the upper hand.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 April 2012):
why didn't you ask him what he meant by the statement?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2012): If you were going on about all these guys liking you - then you were being insensitive and yes, if you can talk to this guy about how great you are, other men fall over you- you don't send off a serious minded woman that wants a long term commitment.
So he was basically pointing out to you, you were being an airhead with a side of narcissist at that moment in time.
I don't think he was being insecure, you were.
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A
female
reader, loulou99 +, writes (9 April 2012):
you said..."if you have so many options... what are you doing here with me"? before he said that... did you or was you talking about other guys or telling him a guy was trying to talk to you? if so.. he is wondering why he out of all the other guys that are trying to talk to you whats so great and special about him. if you wasnt i would say he is maybe a tad insecure and he you should reasure him he is who you want and noone else. if you dont talk much about your feelings he could have also been trying to get you to open up and let him kow how you feel about him.. maybe he was fishing around to see if your dating others.. thats jst my opinion.
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