A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with a girl for a while now, and we got back together a few days ago after a fight that split us up. The reason we broke up in the first place is because I have extreme trust issues, and I get paranoid and my imagination goes wild. I start to convince myself that she doesn't care about me and she doesn't want to be with me. (none of this is helped by my self-esteem issues.)Whenever I stop freaking out long enough to be logical, I know this is nonsense because she's a beautiful girl and could have anyone she wants (especially since she's in college) so this is stupid to freak out over, and she's told me she loves me.But that's the thing... VERY rarely will she say "I love you" first. We've always said "I love you" before bed and stuff, but she never says it first. If I don't say it, she doesn't say it at all.Why is it always me who has to say it first? Does that mean she doesn't WANT to say it back? Or that maybe she'd prefer it if I don't? Should I just stop saying it altogether?I want to be able to TRUST her this time around because I have a second chance, but trust is so hard for a person who's only been lied to and misused for all of his relationships. I don't know HOW to trust, but I really REALLY want to. So, yeah, if anyone could answer this and the "I love you" question I'd REALLY appreciate it.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, fi_the_tree  +, writes (5 September 2010):
 I'm going to suggest one thing, and one thing only...
Sit her down, and read your post on here to her... Talk things through together, like adults.
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