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I don't feel the butterflies in my stomach, does it mean we're not meant for each other?

Tagged as: Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 July 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 18 July 2008)
A female United States age 22-25, anonymous writes:

I have a very important question. When me and my bf kiss I don't feel butterflys or weak in the knees or things like they say in books and such. Does that mean were not meant for each other? He feels it but I don't. My bf thinks I don't feel it because I'm under a lot of stress but I don't know. What do you guys think? Plz help I don't want to waste my time with someone who isn't my soul mate. I mean I feel he is deep inside and know I couldn't live without him but I don't get those feelings when we kiss it really worries me.

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A female reader, Lilly Rose United Kingdom +, writes (18 July 2008):

Lilly Rose agony auntIf your having douts he is the one, then he proberly isnt. But the whole butterly thing you should def have the first couple of months of being with someone, but then after a while they kinda ware off doesnt mean your not inlove just means things have got bit more comfy, and you know what to expect etc!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2008):

I'm the girl who asked this question. Emily does having no doubts count when you don't have them when your with the person? Or does it have to be you can't doubt at all? Just wondering thanks for the answers guys you definetly put my mind at rest.

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States + , writes (18 July 2008):

TasteofIndia agony auntHey sweet,

It comes down to simple attraction. Do you like kissing him? Are you focused on him when you are? Are you having a good time? Because if you're answering "no" to any of those questions, then you have a problem. But if you like him and you like kissing him, you're fine! Some people get the butterflies and sometimes they don't happen - but feelings are feelings and if you feel for this guy, then don't worry about it!

xx India

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (18 July 2008):

Have a really hard think about exactly what you feel for him. You love him but are you IN love with him. You care deeply about him but is it more like he's just a really close friend or a brother?

Movies are made far more romantic that real life but you should feel something when you see him / kiss him. Is there any lust in you for him?

If you are looking for a boyfriend then there is nothing wrong with what you have, if you are desperately looking for your soulmate and you have any doubts about how you are feeling then it is not him. When you meet your soulmate you really will lose any doubts you ever had about anything.

Good Luck!! xx

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A female reader, fishdish United States + , writes (18 July 2008):

fishdish agony auntI'm like that too. I think that those feelings are fairly fake, and romanticized as real...even if others feeling them, those feelings that you're looking for are not fully indicative of your caring about and for someone...they indicate lust maybe, but I know I'm attracted to my boy and that I want to be with him for a LONG time but I don't feel fire if he touches my skin or explosions when we kiss. I think that you should just keep doing you, and not pay attention to what you're SUPPOSED to feel and instead focus on what you DO feel, and what you two DO have, because it sounds like a good thing.

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