New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244976 questions, 1084347 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

I cry myself to sleep because I'd *love* to be a teenager in America... And not stuck in this miserable Northern, English dump

Tagged as: Big Questions, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 April 2006) 8 Answers - (Newest, 13 April 2006)
A female United Kingdom, *iddenspace writes:

Hiya

I don't know what do about this, but I'm really unhappy.

At my school in a poorer area of Northern England, the girls are all really bitchy and unkind and the boys don't want to know you if you aren't a slut. At the beginning of Y7 (my first year) I was really shy and I've grown in confidence as I've grown older, however boys still see me as the shy little goofy girl and I can't seem to get them to see past that. I want to have a boyfriend and have lots of friends, but I don't like anyone where I live.

My dad is very settled in his job, as is my mum who helps out in the neighbourhood too. Both my younger brothers love it here and have millions of close friends.

But I want to be a teenager in America. I watch shows like THE O.C. and MADE and others on MTV, and have read loads of books about growing up in an American High School. I think the new more confident and more appearance wise me would be better accepted in America. I'd love to become a cheer leader as I'm quite flexable and some of the girls I've seen on MTV seem really kind and nice. I don't want to uproot my family as they are so settled here. But I don't want to live my only chance of being a teenager, in a way I don't want to.

Please help, I cry most nights. It's become a situation where I really need some guidance.

Thank you

hiddenspace

View related questions: confidence, neighbour, shy

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A male reader, teen4life +, writes (13 April 2006):

Well I agree with MOST of the posts given, and if you go on holiday if you want to see 'true' america don't take your opion from all the tourist areas...Just take a walk around and try to hanng out with people. That probably sounds really bad but thats my only idea OR you could save up for backpacking...

just remember to get a green card if your going over for months or years

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, willywombat United Kingdom +, writes (4 April 2006):

willywombat agony auntBabe

They have nasty girls and bitches in the USA. Do you watch Hollyoaks? Is that how real life is in the UK?

C'mon, get real. I want to be in 24 being rescued by Jack Bauer or in Cold Feet, but it is all pretend!! Hey, life is only what YOU make it, so stop complaining about your life. Get an eductaion, a decent job and get off your butt and see the world!!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Hopeful +, writes (4 April 2006):

Hopeful agony auntFirst of all, as pointed out by the other aunts and uncles, those TV shows are not real - they are made up storylines featuring gorgeous actors who are not even teenagers. All kids have problems - even if they live in LA or London or Paris or Sydney or wherever. Mean kids at school exist everywhere.

Secondly, I'm sorry to hear that you are unhappy. That is never good and perhaps you may want to consider talking to a school counsellor or trusted teacher about some of the issues you are facing at school. They are there to help and will try and see what they can do for you.

Thirdly, use this as inspiration to get somewhere in your life that is better. Study hard, save money and when you are old enough, travel to America and work or study or backpack. The US is AMAZING - I have traveled there and I loved it so much. Travel down to Australia (Ok, I'm a bit biased because I don't live here but it is a great place) - lots of sun and beaches and friendly people. Lots of job and study opportunities as well.

Where I went to school as well, there were opportunities to do exchange programs to go and study in another country for 6-12 months. You would live with a host family and go to a local school. Some you can get via scholarship, some you need to pay for but perhaps that is something you can consider and investigate? Again, talk to your school careers advisor or principal or check out the internet?

The other great thing to consider when you are older is camp america which is where summer camps managers hire older kids to help look after and run activities for kids at summer camps. Again, that sort of thing would be on the internet and you get paid to work at the camp. That would be a great option for you when you leave school.

As well, you said you like cheerleading etc. Have you checked out things in your local community? Ie. gymnastics or dancing classes? A friend of mine was a dancer and became a cheerleader for a local basketball team. So just because cheerleaders aren't common in schools in places like the UK and Australia, doesn't mean there is not another way to get into it.

I know some of these options are not things you can do immediately but it doesn't mean you can't begin to plan or save to travel when you finish school.

Good luck - let us know how you are feeling.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2006):

Study hard and there is nothing stopping you going to Uni in America when you're 18.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, fabstar44 +, writes (3 April 2006):

How wonderful life would be if it could be like an american tv show!!!...We'd all be gorgeous, tanned and our biggest problem would be who to go to the school prom with!!!

The thing is though the real life version of what you see probably isnt half as great!!!...They say the grass is always greener on the other side and You always want what you cant have and I think these statements hold alot of truth.

I hated living in England While I was at school I hated every minute but I think that had more to do with the stage I was at in my life rather than where I was living.

I think you have to make the most of your current situation and maybe start saving up to go travelling once youve finished school!!!...It will give you something to aim towards and look forward to!!

Chin up and keep smiling...things are never as bad as they seem!!!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, kt United Kingdom +, writes (3 April 2006):

kt agony aunthi,

the truth is, no matter where you live, there is always going to be problems. even in america. don't believe what you see on the tv or what you see in books, most people play for the camra but in real life it could be quite the opposite.

some times your home town/city might seem like a dump but if you start looking at what youve got instead of what you haven't maybe things wont seem so bad.

if you want a boyfriend and want to lose the shy girl image, go out and start flirting or talking to them.

talk to more people and you will get more friends. start going to after school clubs and you might find people witht the same interests. only you can turn your life around.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2006):

I live in the U.S and was a teenager in America. I am 20 now and am a university student in America which I think is much better than high school. I think you built up a fantasy from the shows you watch and from the books you read. Let me just say that a lot of people I know and friends of mine think a lot of the shows like MADE and even Laguna Beach don't really show the realities of teenage life here. Cheerleaders are nice sure, but a lot of them can be real b**ches if you know what I mean. Every high school, no matter where you live, is going to be tough. Maybe if you lived here your life would be exactly the same. Don't fantasize about a place that doesn't exist. My high school experience here was a pretty good one, everyone in our class got along pretty well. The football players got along with everyone and the cheerleaders were sluts but most of them still pretty nice. Not every school is like that. I hear a lot of high school horror stories in college now and how some schools who were very close to mine were so different. How the 'popular' kids discriminate against the regular kids. You watch on MADE how some of those dancers and cheerleaders are stuck up and rude right? Why would you want that?

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, bodylotion +, writes (3 April 2006):

bodylotion agony auntThese people are acters and actresses.Also the dream of being a cheerleader you can become one this country.I was a cheerleaderut i left after a few weeks as they were all

bitchy towards me.So don't just think because they look good and nice on tv.Their actors it's their job.Just remember that,also mabe ask your mum could you go to america as an holiday and then you'll be able to see what it is really like.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "I cry myself to sleep because I'd *love* to be a teenager in America... And not stuck in this miserable Northern, English dump"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0312844999971276!