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I can't stand my husband touching me or kissing me...and the thought of sex makes me sick.

Tagged as: Marriage problems, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 March 2008) 8 Answers - (Newest, 29 May 2009)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I don't know what it is. the thought of making love to my husband makes me sick. I can't stand him touching me or kissing me.

In the past and currently he has some anger problems and he says hurtful things to me and about my family and its a turnoff. He'll apologize but he comes right back and do the same thing; it has gotten old this routine.

He doesn't care what he says to me or how he says it. He always blames my son for coming in between us. It's not my son; its his filthy mouth and he refuses to hear the truth and he won't except responsibity for his actions. He thinks he is right on everything.

What should i do??

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2009):

i left my husband and stood up on my own..... rented a nice little place with my children and ive never been happier!!!!

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A female reader, Ruserious777 United States +, writes (23 May 2009):

yes that same thing has happened to me TODAY!!! We do not have kids but he makes me sick

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008):

Get out,get a divorce. It's going to be tough but encourage your self, get family support and move on

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A female reader, Butterfly72 United States +, writes (16 April 2008):

I'm sorry I don't have any advice, I just feel like you wrote EXACTLY what I was going to write about my life. I am going through the exact same thing, and have been for a few years now. I feel so financially strapped and trapped that I have not have left my husband yet. Just wanted to let you know you are not alone. I wish you the best of luck with your situation.

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A male reader, DoubleM United States + , writes (12 March 2008):

DoubleM agony auntIt is certainly understandable that you are averse to affection and lovemaking with a husband who is and has been verbally abusive and ugly to you. There may be something else going on that makes him unhappy, but you say there is a history to this. I'll agree that a possibly last option is to seek good professional counseling, but you have only one (certain) life and should live it happily.

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A male reader, Collaroy Australia +, writes (11 March 2008):

Collaroy agony auntHi,

If you want your marriage to survive you only have one option - counselling. This must be having a terrible effect on your son, and if anything, for his sakes you should probably find a way to escape this relationship as soon as possible.

I think sex is the least of your concerns here, no wonder it repulses you , it is hard to work up passion for someone who hurls abuse.

For the sake of your sanity and your son I suggest you move out to a less harmful environment - you don't want your son growing up all screwed up with all sorts of issues do you? And by moving out you will force your husband to confront some serious issues, issues he will be forced to address in counselling . I get the impression that he wouldnt jump into counselling on his own accord - you may have to force his hand.

Good luck.

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A female reader, fishdish United States + , writes (11 March 2008):

fishdish agony auntHe sounds verbally abusive to me and it may be better for you to seperate from him for a while to sort out how you want to take your next step--with or without him.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (11 March 2008):

eyeswideopen agony auntWowie, there's some major issues here. You guys need a mediator, try and see if you can get your husband to go with you to a marriage counselor. If he won't go perhaps you two should try a trial separation to get your thoughts together. You certainly don't sound like there is a lot to build on here, you may be better off apart. Do try the counseling if you can though.

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