A
female
age
30-35,
*nowy91
writes:I cant seem to help myself from flirting with other guys when im out, even if my boyfriend is right beside me! its only when i have drink on me but im afraid to go out on my own incase i do something ill regret. like last weeknd, i almost got with another guy until one of my mates pulled me off. i think i just crave the attention! is there any harm in flirting if you dont follow through with anything? cos my boyfriend is gettin fed up with it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2007): For a single female, flirting can signal availability and for an attached female in a relationship, it signals a huge lack of self-control. You are not powerless, you can make good choices and yes, there is a lot of harm in flirting with others if you have a bf. Darlin', you dance with whoever brought you and it seems, you are a very poor candidate for a serious relationship, hun. And it appears your drinking brings the worst of this out in you. If you are making eye contact with a bunch of sexual innuendo tossed in (winking, teasing, butt wiggles, etc) then you shouldn't be doing this because it's very disrespectful to your relationship and your bf and it's telling others a 'that you aren't an honorable person' in regards to being a person, who is trustworthy. So, please...stop embarrassing your bf and yourself and being rude to him. Relax and just be comfortable with who you are and don't worry if others aren't focused in on you. Get to know and sincerely like yourself...for you. If you truly believe you're a fun, good person to be around, who is intelligent, worth getting to know, you won't worry so much about NOT being the center of attention. Save all your sexy, hot flirting for your guy! And if you can't do this, consider 1) stop drinking and going to places where this flirting behavior is tempting or 2) consider going 'solo' for awhile because constant flirting with a bf in tow, means that you aren't mature enough, emotionally to have a serious relationship. Good luck and I wish you both well.
A
male
reader, jm81690  +, writes (10 September 2007):
 I'm the same way, when I'm drunk I flirt with EVERY girl I come in contact with. I don't do it for attention, its almost like a force of nature I just can't help it.
As a result I've ended up hooking up with some people I really never, ever wanted to hook up with. The only cure for it I've found is to stop drinking.
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A
male
reader, Jamer70  +, writes (9 September 2007):
 Well cut down on the drinking or stop it completly if you dont like who you become when your drunk.
You dont always have to drink.
and you would hate it if you bf did this to you wouldnt you.
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A
female
reader, bemused +, writes (9 September 2007):
 I note your age and drinking and the club scene should be fun. Alcohol loosens the inhibitions of all of us but it also can fuel behavior which causes heartache down the road. Two things stand out right now. Perhaps you should not have a boyfriend right now if this is the place where you are at. It does not have to all or nothing but try lessening the amount you are drinking when you are out. You mention your friend had to'pull you off'. You are lucky you had a mate there to do that....it could have ended badly for you and I think you know what I mean. Do not go on your own if you know you are like this. I think it is ok for women to go to bars solo...men to it all the time but I would not advise this EVER for you because of your age and the concerns you write about here. You say you crave attention...might there be other ways you could get it other that this way...sounds like your self esteem could use some bucking up. Hope this helps
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A
female
reader, Jualsy  +, writes (9 September 2007):
 Reverse the situation....how would you feel if he was doing it to you????You don't have to drink.You don't have to get into these situations.You choose to, then how mad is it to complain when you get a result you don't like????Do you like the person you are turning out to be?? You are at a good time in life. Hold your head high and be happy with who yoyu are. Don't let a bottle dictate that to you.
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