A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok, I am 23 years old and have been dating a wonderful 24 year old guy for about 4 months. Our relationship is wonderful there is only one problem...I can't seem to get him to reach orgasam...He always has to pull out and manually finish himself off. I've tried oral, hand jobs, and vaginal and nothing works. He also can't seem to keep an erection unless he is touching himself. He says that it's not me that is the problem but his penis is not very sensitive and needs a really firm grip. I get extremely wet during sex, so wet that I begin to lose sensation and I know he does as well. I have no kids and my gyno has said that my vagina is average size. I've tired kegels as well. I feel much tighter before I get so ridiculously wet. My boyfriend always wants to have sex and seems VERY attracted to me but once we get down to it it never seems to work right. He is very willing to please me in other ways when he goes limp and is great at it. I'm am very satisfied but I feel lousy about the fact that I can't seem to please him enough to cum. He's never been able to cum from oral from anyone in the past but he never had a problem with vaginal sex until me and I think it's because I get soooo wet that he can't keep an erection. Once he asked me to pose in a position that exposed my bottom while he masturbated himself. This makes me think he watches too much porn. It's like his penis is de-sensitized. We have talked about this stuff but it's really uncomfortable and he assures me that he loves me and finds me very sexy. I feel very insecure when trying to please him now and I need some advice please!!! Thank you.
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erection, hand-job, insecure, limp, porn, vagina Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBoth responses sound good its just that we did try the no masturbating thing for 5 days once(he normally does it every day) and when we had sex, he kept his erection, but still had to finish himself off.
Everytime we talk about it it seems like it adds to the pressure and makes it even harder for him to keep his erection so I'm not sure how and when to bring it up. He is sooooooo good at pleasing me. Honestly he is the best lover Ive ever had! I just want to be able to please him...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2007): the previous advice is good, id like to add one more thing from my own similar experience; do the one whole week thing where you dont have sex, tell him not to masturbate either, let him see you naked every night but dont give him any. hel be ragingly horny by the end of that week and the sex could be wild and great. even if he has to do this all the time, with no masturbation, once a week is better than never, and more than some people get at all
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A
male
reader, DJ8433 +, writes (14 August 2007):
 Sometimes when men watch porn a lot, they get desensitized to normal sex. Since men are visual, it's understandable that he wants to see you in a pose that "turns him on". . He will have to agree to do these thing for you both. Tell him you want him to "F--k you good, but in 1 weeks time. If he does look at porn daily, I would suggest 3 things. 1. Stop the porn viewing, "cold turkey". 2. Wait 1 week to have sex with you again. (after that wait 1 more week) and repeat for 4 weeks. 3. Use cialis or viagra for each of these sessions to boost his confidence. Use the heck out of that boner for each of the 4 sessions until you cannot take anymore (you're sore, make him feel like a tiger in bed). I assume he's around your age, so the porn is more than likely the problem. Imagine if he's having trouble now, what it will be like in 10 years. If the problem continues, come back to us.
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