A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey, I'd love some advice, especially from guy readers, on what really happens on stag nights. I've been with my bf for 5 months. Everything's going great, he's told me he loves me and that he's really happy we're together. We've planned a weekend away later this year, but after that, he's going on a week-long stag do with some of his close friends, which has been arranged for ages. I know they will be surfing, drinking, staying in accommodation designed for stags and hens, and going to a lap-dancing club. This is all to be expected, and I'm fine with it, but...I guess I kinda worry about what actually happens on stag nights. Do guys go along with the aim of sleeping with random women? Some of the other guys going are single, some are married or in relationships. My bf is very popular with girls, he is a little flirty, and likes to dance with other girls (in a non-sleazy way) when he goes clubbing. He says he's never cheated on any gfs in the past, but I still feel a little uneasy about the stag do. I guess I'm looking for some reassurance that guys can control themselves even on stag dos, and that my uneasiness is silly. Thanks :)
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male
reader, Jjang19  +, writes (3 March 2011):
Unless him and his friends are known cheaters, stag nights are just usually a couple of beers and watchin a few games. Sometimes they get a little more wild, like at a stripclub, but there is nothing you should be worrying about because, like i said, unless they are all known cheaters, hes not gonna cheat
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2011): I shouldn't worry too much about it. If he really loves you, he wont do anything wrong. If he does, you should look on the bright side in that it happened before you got married!Honestly though, only you really know in your heart what he's capable of, and if you trust him or not.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (3 March 2011):
I've been on one stag night so far in my life - we went to the pub and watched a football game, because his fiance hated football and he was worried he wouldn't be able to watch it as much! That was it (except for a few drinks). We didn't go near any women. And his team lost! The idea of men sleeping around on stag nights isn't as true as it seems. There are of course some crap boyfriends who do, but in truth the majority of stage nights aren't as they seem. Most people just drink and that's about it. I don't think you need to worry at all.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2011): I see you do have every right to ask him about it without feeling silly.He may or may not of thought about these consequences himself.It is a good idea to know where you both stand during group situations and what you are both comfortable with.Personally I wouldn't be comfortable with my bf going to something like this, but then neither would he.Once alcohol is involved - no I'm afraid guys and girls can't actually control themselves. I've seen happily married fairly good men of integrity at work functions get a bit stupid on alchohol and do inaapropriate things and hurting those they love the most.I think you definatel both need to decide what boundaries you are okay with as a woman before he goes.Don't worry about seeming controlling or anything - I think it is natural for a guy to respect his partner and want to please her and it is important that he knows how far he can and can't go and what is upsetting for you and what is not.
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A
male
reader, Derek999 +, writes (3 March 2011):
Hi AnonymousI've been to a good few stag dos.. and they've always been about banter and fun, I've never know anything to happen except maybe a stripper. Dont forget that guys who go on a stag night with their friends would lose a lot of face if they were to be unfaithful so close to their wedding day (well at least the friends I have wouldnt be impressed). And lets face it, there's usually a lot of guys there so he would run the risk of it leaking out sometime in the future.It's touching and a good sign in a way that you're worried however you will have to learn to trust your future husband.. I'm sure he'll have many better opportunities in the future to be unfaithful (as you will) so maybe try to focus on the fact he's promised himself to you. Hope this helps!
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A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave +, writes (3 March 2011):
I personally dont see much difference between stag dos and normal nights out.
The personnel might be slightly different because they are all the groom's friends/family as opposed to a normal group of friends.
The only ones who should worry really is the stag and the bride to be, not because the stag may misbehave, it's more what the rest will do to him.
With your concern about blokes going on them with the aim of sleeping with random women, i think it's a case of if they aim to do it on normal nights out they'll aim to do it on a stag do. If they don't aim to do it on normal night out, a stag do won't make a difference
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