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I cant get pregnant by my husband. Is it because our blood doesn't match? Should I try to get pregnant by another man?

Tagged as: Marriage problems, Pregnancy<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 August 2014) 6 Answers - (Newest, 12 August 2014)
A female South Africa age 36-40, *girl writes:

Dear Cupid.ORG.

Im 29 married women with no children.Me and my husband we have been trying for a baby about 8 years knw bt now lucky.So I like to know if its is possible to get pregnant if I sleep with another man because so of people say maybe our blood they dont match.

Is this truth?please help!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2014):

8 years is a long time to have been trying, so I'd be very surprised if you guys haven't already undergone diagnostic fertility treatments/testing. If you haven't already, then please do- it could be just what you need in order to become pregnant.

There are other alternative ways to have children, IVF, IUI, adoption, surrogacy, and I would definitely consider thses first of all before sleeping with any randomers.

I will tell you not to lose hope, an aunt of mine tried for nine years when she was told she couldn't bear children because of an inhospitable womb. She enquired about IVF, and doctors told her she'd be wasting her money and it wouldn't work. A few years later, when she had long accepted that she couldn't have kids, her periods stopped. At 39, menopause wasn't out of the question, so she presumed that was the reason. The real reason was her baby girl who was born a few months ago!:) So don't give up, and look into your options. You don't need to sleep with strangers to become a mother!!!

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (12 August 2014):

olderthandirt agony auntWell, of course it's possible but why do that? There are millions of unadopted children out there just waiting for a pair of loving parents to come along and take them into their life. Just going out and having sex with someone might produce a child but how much will that child love uyou back only to find out some day that he or she was "produced" to fulfill one of your 'needs'It wold seem to me anyway at I'd raer find out i was adopted than just made for the thrill of it. I'd want to think it was love that made the family and not just random sex. GoodLuck in whatever choice you make.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (12 August 2014):

Honeypie agony auntBlood don't matter (for the most part)

_______ info on blood types/ Rh incompatibility ------

Most people — about 85% — are Rh positive. But if a woman who is Rh negative and a man who is Rh positive conceive a baby, there is the potential for a baby to have a health problem. The baby growing inside the Rh-negative mother may have Rh-positive blood, inherited from the father. Approximately half of the children born to an Rh-negative mother and Rh-positive father will be Rh positive.

Rh incompatibility usually isn't a problem if it's the mother's first pregnancy because, unless there's some sort of abnormality, the fetus's blood does not normally enter the mother's circulatory system during the course of the pregnancy.

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Since you haven't been pregnant before the RH incompatibility should NOT make a difference, AT ALL.

8 months isn't long attempting to get pregnant.

My suggestion, see your doctor & get an ovulation kit.

It can be you are not ovulation or having sex at the right time, it can be your husband doesn't produce enough healthy sperm, it can be stress... no, one can tell you over the internet why, GO see your doctor.

And trying another man? that's ridiculous.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2014):

It all depends on WHY you can't get pregnant and only a medical professional can tell you that. Have you had tests to find out why you can't conceive?

If the problem is with your ovulation or your uterus, then sleeping with another guy will have no effect.

If the problem is with your husband (such as low sperm count) then sleeping with another man may result in a pregnancy - although I certainly don't recommend using some guy for stud. A sperm donor from a reputable clinic would be a better bet as at least the donor is screened for diseases and disorders.

I'm not sure what you mean about "matching blood". Are you rhesus negative? Being rhesus negative may affect the womans ability to carry a baby to full term without medical intervention but it doesn't actually affect their ability to GET pregnant. It's a simple treatment and doesn't affect first pregnancies anyway.

And when you talk of sleeping with another man in order to conceive..... are you thinking of leaving your husband? Or doing it behind his back and pretending that the baby is his? Or discussing it with him first?

How would you make sure the other guy had no diseases that he could give to you or your unborn child such as HIV, haemophilia, sickle cell, thallassaemia.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2014):

It's nothing to do with blood, that's not how it works. You need to go to a doctor and both get fertility tests and advice.

It's possible you can't bear children. And no, trying another man is an idiotic idea.

Go to a doctor and get some medical advice.

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A female reader, WhenCowsAttack United States +, writes (12 August 2014):

What the heck! No, you should go see a doctor. I don't know who these people are who are saying maybe your blood doesn't match, but they are very ignorant. It might be a problem with his sperm, or it might be a problem with YOUR eggs. You shouldn't just go randomly sleeping with other men hoping it'll work, you should try to find out if one of you has a health problem that can be fixed. Go to the doctor, both of you.

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