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Can my child be taken away from me because I had an affair with my uncle by marriage?

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, Family, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 August 2014) 8 Answers - (Newest, 14 August 2014)
A female United States age 30-35, *ueenofspades71010 writes:

so i will start by saying where i have messed up, i am in a commonlaw relationship with a man that is also the father to my 5 year old, we have been together for 7years and i have never truly been happy with him, i stayed for so long just to make sure my child had both parents (i know, never a good reason to stay, but i wanted her to have us both) anyway, i have cheated on him, emotionally first and then it turned physical with a man who truly makes me happy, he is the love of my life, treats me like a queen, gave me a smile i never had my entire life except for my daughter, he also never judges me when i tell him truths about myself, he accepts me for who i am and has shown me i can love myself in ways i never knew were possible, i know its wrong i cheated, and here is where its gets worse, he is 15 years older than me and he is married to a woman for 20 years, they have never been happy either they have been trying to get financially ready for a divorce for over two years, and the only reason i know this...is because he is married to my aunt, my aunt is blood, he is not blood, i know its wrong, but we just recently got caught and i am happy we are finally out even though the entire family has threatenedme with taking my child away if i continue to pursue this relationship, how do i let go of him? how do they even get the right to take my daughter away legally? i know the infidelity is terrible, believe me i know but they are baseing the reason i should lose my daughter on the fact that i made a poor decision and destroyed the whole family with this, his kids are 19 and 16 i am 24, and his oldest is already making stepmommy jokes with me and has told me she isnt even mad that we are together just very hurt that we lied to her, im asking am i seriously messed up and do i deserve to lose my daughter over this? legally can they even use this in court to take her from me? i will also let you know the relationship is only a year old and i have moved back in with my parents to go to school about 4 months ago and am also in the middle of divorce with my childs father. thank you for any feed back, good or bad.

View related questions: affair, divorce, infidelity

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A female reader, queenofspades71010 United States +, writes (14 August 2014):

queenofspades71010 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

queenofspades71010 agony auntsorry i should clarify...i cheated on my husband with my uncle by marriage...the update on the situation so far is that i am doing everything i have been doing with my daughter and actually looked up the laws on recorded conversations for CO and i am in a position to have some evidence for myself that shows that the family is only saying im a bad mother because they are hurt over the fact i had an affair with my uncle by marriage, even with my husband saying on tape "you are a great mother and i would never take our daughter from you except that this just hurts me" its been almost the same explanation from every other family member...so i have something to help my case and its legal, my family is trying to come up with lies against me saying i neglect her but i have on tape from almost all of them stating that i am an excellent mother but because i had this affair they are hurt (and i completely understand why) and going to do what they can to get my daughter taken away...i dont want to be an evil person and record them and make them get in trouble for lying to the court but what choice do i really have...

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (13 August 2014):

olderthandirt agony auntTisha-1 is on top of one. My brain turned to mush about hlf way through the explanation of who ad sex with who and how the family relationhip was involved. I'm thinkinghis one won't make it to Judge Judy. ood Luck

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2014):

No one can take away your child from you unless there is an evidence of child abuse or neglet. Cheating can only effect the alimony or financial stuff not the custody. depends on how long it has been going on.

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A female reader, queenofspades71010 United States +, writes (12 August 2014):

queenofspades71010 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

queenofspades71010 agony auntthank you, i am just trying to go to school right now to get myself in a position to support myself and my daughter, and unfortunately i am at a point where i cant even talk to the attorneys unless i can pay and i dont have any money to my name, maybe i can find one that will work probono at least until i have some sort of income, i hope, but if not i will just have to keep doing right by child and document everything because its my only lineof defense right now, thank you for your words

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A female reader, queenofspades71010 United States +, writes (12 August 2014):

queenofspades71010 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

queenofspades71010 agony auntthank you

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (12 August 2014):

Tisha-1 agony auntI would go seek legal advice on this question. No one here is an expert on Colorado divorce law, and you are asking questions that could impact your life in a significant way. Rather than try to puzzle it out online, go find legal representation and ask these questions of a qualified attorney with a license to practice in Colorado. Good luck.

http://www.coloradolegalservices.org/lawhelp/resource/common-law-marriage-faq?ref=6asde is a resource I found through Google.

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A female reader, queenofspades71010 United States +, writes (12 August 2014):

queenofspades71010 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

queenofspades71010 agony aunti live in colorado and by law even if you are commonlaw married and you have children, you still have to go through divorce, i dont know if it is actually divorce but we have to go to court to terminate the commonlaw affidavit and do the custody stuff in court, i dont know if its a technical divorce, but im looking at it as such, sorry for not clarifying.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (12 August 2014):

eyeswideopen agony auntWhy do you need a divorce if you are in a common law relationship? This post doesn't really ring true.

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