A
female
age
41-50,
*nonima
writes:i am a twenty seven year old female, i consider myself good looking and slim. i am college educated and i have my own business but....i never have had a boyfriend....EVER!! i enjoy the company of men dont get me wrong but i just can't find a guy who doesn't want to take advantage of me somehow. What should I do?? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, WastedLife +, writes (6 May 2008):
I'm not sure what you mean by "take advantage". Any guy that is going to be a boyfriend will want to sleep with you sooner or later, and certainly will want to kiss, fondle, touch, etc. If you don't want these things, then why would you want a boyfriend? It's only taking advantage if it's near totally one sided, or violating your will. Or maybe you are referring to being financially taken advantage of - I don't know. If so, you need to define limits and be clear about them. If you DO want intimacy, and are who you say you are, shoot me a line. I certainly have no need for your money or resources - I have plenty of my own, but I am looking for a relationship! Good luck.
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (28 April 2008):
 Hi ,
maybe it is your list that needs revising. What are you looking for in a man? If you want a man who is financially succesful with great career prospects thats fine, but you can easily end up with a self absorbed arsehole who has gotten ahead in life by shitting on the little people - hardly the caring sensitive type.
At 27, attractive and educated ( as you say ) they should be queing up . So something is going wrong. Ask your friends they will be the best indicator of what you are doing wrong and why you pick the wrong types.
good luck
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (27 April 2008):
 Check your attitudes towards men and try to lower down your qualifications or bar.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (27 April 2008):
 Consider your blessings. Would you rather have had boyfriends but been used by every single one of them as some of the other women who ask questions? You seem to be doing fine as a single woman. Take pride in that.
What exactly do you mean by taking advantage of you and where do you meet these guys?
It might be that you are too strict OR that you are simply falling for the wrong kind of guys. Exactly what are they doing you consider wrong because most relationships have an element of being used. As a geek women (well men too) often take advantage of me to fix their computer and don't even have the decency to pay the standard fee of one blowjob. Some girls eh, you wonder who raised them.
My rather crude point is that without an example we can't say wether the guys you are intrested in are in the wrong or you are.
The simplest trick is to try and determine what kind of guy you want and then find out their natural habitat and hunt there. Want a guy who takes care of himself, join a gym. Want a social guy, do volunteer work etc etc.
But mostly consider yourselve lucky. If your standards ain't too high then at least you managed to avoid the users, lots of women your age ain't so lucky and are single with kids and no future. Be happy with what you got and let love happen on its own.
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A
male
reader, previasc96 +, writes (27 April 2008):
Off course the guys you meet just wanna take advantage. They probably figure that you just want them for one thing since you are totally independant. You need to build a good solid friendship with a guy first. Plus you are an American, and in our culture, people will tell you they love you or like you but they have alterior motives of personal gain. We tend to wanna see what we can get outta the situation instead of what we can give.
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A
female
reader, happytochat +, writes (27 April 2008):
What sorts of places are you looking in? Clubs/parties? If so, then my first suggestion would be to find a new place. Those types of places are typically full of guys like that.
It would be good if you could further explain how every other guy youve dated/met has just wanted to take advantage of you. Is there a possibility you got it wrong? I know sometimes people to jump to conclusions...
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