A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: When I was 17 I had an affair with my 15 yearold addopted cousin. Before anything happened between us I was always excited to learn my family was going to visit with hers as I always had a crush on her. I obvisouly could not tell her or anyone for that matter until one day while swimming she came over to me a gave me a quick kiss on the lips. The next day we were able to get away for a while by ourselfs where we constantly made out and held eachother. I wanted more at that time but did not want to scare her away. I realy did not know what I should do knowing I could not tell anyone or take her out on a date. For the next year we wrote letters back and forth and was our only communication. I had a girlfriend at the time but did not feel the way I felt for my addopted cousin. It seemed that when we kissed or held hands it just fit, everything felt right. The following year her family moved near us and for 3 months she lived with us where we got even closer sneaking into eachothers rooms at night but having to avoid eachother during the day. I always wanted to take her out on a date but that would not have been possible as we did not want to draw any attention to us so all we had was a few minutes a night of great sex. Now almost 25 years later she has been married for 17 years and me for 15 she has 4 children and I have 1 and with a family reunion coming up the thaught of seeing her is strange. We are family (thankfuly not by blood) and knew a day like this would come. We spoke to eachother before our weddings and neither of us were emotionaly able to go. She is the only one I had that special feeling for and she feels the same and after all these years and being in our own relationships I do not know how I can face her. I was the older one and should have not let it go that far and I try to justify it by telling myself that she was adopted. If she was a girl I met and dated and not related to I would have married her.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2011): OMG!! What a nice story!! It sounds like u guys are ment for eachother!! This doesn't happen much but u get to feel that real love that a lot of people think they have but don't. Its when this kind of thing happens that shows what real love is about and that I love! If u see her u have to act as normal as possible. I know its gonna be hard but for yours and her families sake u have to. Please keep us updated on what happens @ this reunion!
A
male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (26 May 2011):
You loved her, and still do. She loved you, and probably does too still. In this case, where you are both married to two different people, it is helpful to remember that there are many different types of love, and that love can take different forms.
If you truly love her, you would want for her to be happy, to support her relationship with her husband, and wish for her to have a great life and support her any way you can to be happy, becuase you want the best for her. This is one kind of love. If you desire her and want to be with her, you can acknowledge that you have a great chemistry and a deep connection, but you know you can't just act on it, that you have responsibilities to other people, but it nice to know that you feel deeply for someone. I am sure you feel deeply for your wife too, every connection is different, and love is something to be celebrated. You might not be able to act out your love for your cousin, but it is a blessing to have any love in your life. Think about how you want to love in the world, how to best express it, and how you want to behave as a human knowing your limitations and your responsibilities, and then do that. It is possible to acknowledge your love for your cousin and be happy about it, whilst still being happy with the love of your wife and family and celebrating that too, without having to bring either into confilct. You can also acknowledge the sadness for the opportunity that has been lost, in not being able to act on your love with your cousin, and not being able to have had the relationship you always wanted with her.
I would also say, you have been carrying these feelings for all these years, it would be a good idea to express them, to let them out, but know that even if the connection feels the same with your cousin, the kind of relationship you might have would be very different to what you had then. I hope that meeting her is a positive experience for you, and that you are able to take the course of action that is best for everyone concerned.
Good luck.
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