A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Well my issue is that I feel like I'm the only girl in the world who is extremely paranoid of her period. It's always on my mind, because i'm always thinking about "well, what if i get it this day when i have to do this" and I also worry about it so much, that it often appears in my dreams, which is just strange. The second I get it, I don't want to leave the comfort of my house. So it stops me from doing anything. I'm always afraid that someone's going to know or that i'm going to have an accident at school even though I use large pads all the time which are obviously good enough...it just doesn't feel like enough, and I'm too scared to use tampons which would probably work a lot better. I even went to the extent of getting prescription pills to make it so I only get it 4 times a year. See I know that every girl in the world gets it, so i'm not the only one going through it, but i feel like i'm the only one who can't handle it. And I'm 15 almost 16, you think I'd be able to handle it by now since having it for like 3 or 4 years, but no. Like when I'm at school, no girl ever seems to be having any problems. When I'm at school and I have my period, I can never get it off my mind, i can't concentrate on what the teachers saying and i start doing that thing where you bounce your leg up and down really fast. And then especially when I get cramps, that really takes my concentration away. At least the pills are helping me somewhat, but I know if i continue acting like this i'll never get through my life. Is there any other girl that feels this way or used to be like this? Thank you for any advice. :)and p.s. I just want to say i love this site, i've asked multiple questions, and have always gotten great answers, and it's just so helpful. So thank you to everyone who provides answers on this site. :D
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period, tampon, the pill Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tigerlily +, writes (10 February 2010):
One of the best ways to deal with anxiety is to try and face your fear head on. Imagine what is the very worst thing that could possibly happen? Then ask yourself if that is really so bad, or if that is very likely that it really ever would happen? The more you get used to the worst case scenario, the more you will relax and realize it's really not so terrible or very likely it would actually happen.
The other suggestions here are really good from a practical standpoint. Not sure why you are scared of tampons but if you just take some time in the privacy of your own home to practice with them, they will make you feel much more secure. Also, the suggestion about wearing panty liners, dark pants and also you could wear a long dark colored sweatshirt or jacket that in case you actually did ever have an accident you could wrap it around your waist and no one would know. For cramps I recommend Motrin that seems to work the best for me. Usually my first day I can't concentrate either so that's not necessarily your anxiety just your period.
A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (10 February 2010):
Wow you sound like you have developed some anxiety related to your period. Perhaps you heard so many negative things about it and now you have paranoia. Firstly, the practical aspect; most adult women move with a spare pair of panties, a tampon or a pad in little purse their bag. Perhaps buying Discreet liners might help. They come in boxes of 40 and are paper thin; you can't even feel them. If you think you are close to your period perhaps wear these for a few days and wear black trousers to camoflouge the accidents you fear.
From a biological point of view, just go over the woman's reproductive cycle pages of your text book; you only go on your period every 3 to 4 weeks if you are normal. If you are on the longer type of pill, this even makes it more predictable because you are not ovulating at all; even when you take the different placebo pills every 3 months, you can almost predict with precision when your period will arrive; usually on the 3rd day of taking the placebos. Just read over this and understand it.
From a psychological point of view, you may need therapy if this continues to affect your life. Some kind of fear was triggered associated with periods and you may need help getting to the root.
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A
female
reader, tiger27  +, writes (10 February 2010):
 Hiya
I was worried about accidents to when I was younger and mine were irregular so what I used to do is carry around pads/tampons (can't remember which I used as was a few years ago) and at least 1 spare pair of knickers so I was covered if I did start while I was out.
As for the cramps if you can, take paracetamol or something it should help and if your allowed carry some with your spare underware and pads/tampons.
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A
male
reader, Faraday +, writes (10 February 2010):
 You don't say what pills you are taking at the moment, but have you considered birth cotrol pills? They aren't just to enable you to avoid pregnancy!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2010): First of all, you're not alone! Many girls feel very uncomfortable about getting their period, especially when it is still a relatively new experience (and 3-4 years isn't that long). I am 30 and I still hate getting mine! It's painful, inconvenient, messy and means I can't have sex. What's to like about that? I'm sorry, but I honestly believe that if men got periods, there'd be trillions of dollars going into research on how to make them stop!!
Sometimes I think that we women should band together more about this issue, and bring it out into the open for discussion. Many of us experience quite extreme pain during our time of the month, and soldier on regardless - if we woke up feeling that bad for any other reason, we'd probably take a day off school or work, but because it's a period, we soldier on. So you are to be applauded for posting about this, even though it is a bit embarrassing!
I do think that there are a couple of things that could help you out:
1. Tampons help a lot! They make you feel much cleaner and more comfortable. Getting used to using them is a bit strange, and can be painful (because you tense up as it's a new experience). However, it's well worth the effort. Try a brand with applicators - they're easier to insert. They will allow you to do much more when it's your time of the month - even swimming and sport! Psychologically, the less intrusive and awkward you make the bleed, the better you will feel.
2. Get to your doctor and ask for mefanamic acid. It's an NSAID, so it's a painkiller, but it also reduces the amount and length of the bleed. Remember that you CANNOT take ibuprofen, or any other NSAID, alongside it.
3. If you don't take mefanamic acid, doubling up your painkillers can help. You can take 6 normal strength ibuprofen (nurofen) and 6 paracetamol in any 24 hour period for a week without there being any risk of overdose. I find that the combination of 2 types of painkiller works much better than one alone. You will still have some pain when the pills wear off, but you will be able to concentrate for most of the day.
4. If you're really bothered, continue on the pill and have a period only once every 3 months. I do this, and it gives me a lot more freedom.
I think you will get used to this, and find ways of managing it, as you get older. So don't despair!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2010): If you are on prescription pills, isn't is also very easy to know when you will have your period? Im on birth control pills, and I know exactly what hour of the day my period will come. Write down in a diary that you keep at home in safety somewhere, when you are expecting your period. Then up until that week comes, you don't have to keep it on your mind. You could even set a digital alarm for that week so you are sure not to forget! Or have your mom help you remember it. That way you can rest assured, you wont suddenly get it without be prepared.
Also, for your own comfort, you could bring an extra pair of pads with you to school. There are certain boxes you can buy to have the pads in so that they look nice and keep clean. Or just use a makeup box with a pretty pattern on. Then if a girl in class suddenly gets her period and doesnt have pads, you'll be there to help her out! Back when I was in high school the common excuse to go home early for us girls was "I got my period and didn't bring pads" and she'd be allowed to go home. So it wasn't anything we were ashamed of at all.
As for the tampons, they come in different sizes. I was scared the first time I used a tampon too. Tampons can break the hymen so that it hurts a little (the hymen that all virgins freak out about so much). You will still be a virgin, but the hymen might not be intact. The hymen can however break from just about anything, a heavy period, working out, tampons etc etc. What is important when trying out tampons is that you are comfortable and not rushed, and at home. So that if it feels unpleasant you can remove it right away. If it is not pushed far enough in, it can feel unpleasant. It should be about a fingers length in. Tampons do not slide out by themselves. You can experiment first with putting your finger up your vagina. A tampon is usually a little smaller than your finger, but it could give you a clue on how it will be, and how it will feel to push a tampon up there. Just be aware, that when on your period, there is a lot of fluid in your vagina that will make everything slide smoother. When you are not on your period (or horny for that matter) you can experience that it feels dry and not so easy to push you finger up. You can try and use water to make it smoother, or a lubricant.
This was very long, but I hope it gives you some ideas on how you can calm down and eventually try tampons.
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