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30-35,
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writes: I'm dating this guy. The other night he asked if I would be his girlfriend so were together officially lol. But this guy smokes pot and sells it too . Its totally got me shaken up just because I think that its dumb and if we were together I'd always be like what if he got caught. I really like him and could see myself falling in love with him, but I don't know what to do? He said he would quit for me but we'll see. I was dating two other guys and I chose this guy. I dont know why I did. I really like him and we have a strong connection but he's got me a little scared.
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reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (1 March 2009):
Hun, he might just change but not if you put up with it for more than 5 seconds.
Tell him that you think he's a really nice guy but would never want to be with a scum bag drug dealer, or a useless pot head.
Then tell him to give you a call when he has has kicked the habit and decided to get a real job, and walk away.
You HAVE to show him you mean business, so no contact till he calls to say he has quit it ALL.
If he picks the weed over you then you know he would never have been worth it and you've saved yourself a lot of heartache.
Be strong!
Good Luck!! xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2009): This guy does not sound like the right partner for you. Selling and using illegal drugs is a deal breaker, regretfully you can not change him. If he says he will quit for you, I am almost a 100% sure that is a lie, he will just hide it from you...he has already shown that he is the kind of person who thinks the rules don't apply to him and in order to live like that he has to be comfortable lying to himself and others.
I think you are infatuated with him for some reason and the danger of having a connection with someone is that this means that being around him inspires some intense feelings in you, and feelings can mask reality and if you base your choices on feelings only, then you will make a mistake.
Use your head, and chose someone else....you guys don't have the same values and that can be a pretty serious problem for having a successful relationship with someone.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2009): But, I don't understand...didn't you know this before you agreed to be his girlfriend???? Never, ever enter a relationship thinking you will change who he is, what he does, etc! When you agreed to be his girlfriend, you accepted him for who he is and what he does. You will not change him! Believe me, I have tried in the past!
You can voice your concerns but that's about all you can do!
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