A
female
age
36-40,
*atch
writes:hi.i just need some advice. im 23 and have been in a same sex relationship for just on 2 years now. iv been extremely happy in the relationship and to be honest could not think of there being any better. I'v been in love with my partner exlusively for the length of time however now im scared that im either falling out of love or going to run my relationship into the ground.The relationship between us is still happy and healthy as far as a relationship goes, however i do feel we are over the 'honeymoon period'. But i still love, and want the relationship to last.Recently i have been finding myself attracted to other people to an extent, and this has been bothering me, as i tend to over think things. Firstly my attraction has been to both males and females and im struggling to distinguish whether i am truly attracted or just having a little crush. I am scared that after building such a good relationship I will end up destroying it. Even though these little attractions have been to both sexes i seem to be dwelling on the ones with the opposite sex. Worrying what if im not gay. Has anyone experienced similar. iv known iv been attracted to the same sex since adolescence and over the past 4 yrs have been experiencing happy same sex relationships. i am in a supportive environment with both hetero and homo sexual freinds who i am open with and fully accepting. However my parents are not and when i choose to bring my relationship up they like too remind me that they do not accept and i am making my life so much harder for myself.This really hurts particularly because id always had such a great relationship with them.However they do continually remind me that i am their child and they love me.I'm concerned that by continually dwelling on these things such as the attractiveness to others (dwelling on the opposite sex, not the same sex attractions) and the issues with my parents, i am trying to convince myself to be straight to feel normal and accepted by my parents and live the traditional life that my family and extended family lead. On top of this the relationship is in a bit of a stressed out rut, and both myself and partner are feeling keen to have children in the future which is probably adding to the 'you need a straight lifestyle to be normal issue.' All these things possibly seem petty or silly to worry about but they are really concerning me. I just want to carry on enjoying the relationship that i have, instead of creating these problems. I dont want to see the one that i love and want to spend the rest of life with slip through my fingers, because i tend to dwell on things to much. Please help, with any of your experiences or thoughts that will help me positively.Patch
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2008): thanks to the person who wrote the answer. and yea everyone is bisexual to degree i guess. i think i just need to find a way to focus on my relationship again rather than other possibilities. i know that i love my partner but i think iv had it drilled into me that im 'making' my life really difficult. And im scared about making the wrong decisions. e.g whether to just try and make my parents happy. Also is it normal to be attracted or think of other possibilities when in a relationship? just thinking about the 'what if' factor.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2008): You may be bisexual but that shouldn't be a problem anyway. You will always be attracted to people, but thats just what it is. Your g/f is too, if she says she isn't then shes lieing.
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