A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I Only have sex with my girlfriend once or twice a month and i want more but she doesn't.. when We first started goin out we had sex 2 or 3 times a week.. now since we have bin together 2 years its only a few times a month. Shes always to sleepy or not in the mood, but when we do make love its amazing she gets 8-9 orgasms.. How Can I get it back to when we first met, more sex...
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2007): Assuming she's not faking it:
Allowing for an orgasm at the rate of about once every 10 minutes, that would be an hour and a half of going at it, hammer and tongs.
Do you take that long to cum? If so, she's probably exhausted at the mere thought of having sex - and you aren't what most men would call 'normal'.
Try to cut it down to a couple of orgasms at most and if you haven't squirted by then go and finish the job in the bathroom if you absolutely have to. Make sure you have what I call an 'after nookie cuddle' until she falls asleep. She might be a bit more willing the next time you feel horny if she doesn't feel she's about to take part in yet another marathon session.
It's not about performance statistics, but an intimate expression of deep love and affection between two people - or at least, it should be.
Phil
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (5 December 2007):
 8 or 9 orgasms? 4 or 5 is unusual. 2 or 3 is more normal. It sounds like she is faking them and perhaps not having orgasms at all. If she is really unfulfilled in the bedroom and doesn't know how to have an orgasm, that would explain a why she's avoiding it. Do you perform oral sex an her? Do you have sex toys? Most women, 75%, don't have an orgasm by penis-in-vagina sex alone. Something doesn't add up here. You need to find out how to make her happier in the bedroom. Fill up the bubblebath, get the champagne and GET HER TALKING about what she needs from you. Twice a month is far to little for a young couple. It takes a lot of intimacy and work to get to the point where sex goes like clockwork, it doesn't just happen. Start talking it out, I think that there is something here that she's not telling you.
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (5 December 2007):
 8 or 9 orgasms is kind of unusual. 2 maybe 3 I would believe. The others may have been faked, which she is now tired of doing. Women do it sometimes to save face. It's hurtful and hard to tell a guy he's not hitting the mark, so faking it is sometimes easier and saves an embarrassing discussion. But eventually, women grow bored with an unfulfilled sex life and begin avoiding it altogether. If you do actually know what you're doing (some guys don't, but think they do) then try talking to her about your feelings. You'r both too young to only have sex once or twice a month. Woman have higher sex drives than you realize and if she's not getting it somewhere else, there must be something else going on. Make sure she's not depressed, or taking medications that could be affecting her sex drive. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2007): Are you sure that she gets 8-9 orgasms? If shes not faking them then she probably doesnt want sex because its exhausting, physically and emotionally to orgasm that much.
On the other hand if she is faking them and actually sex is a chore as she feels the need to fake orgasm, then perhaps you need to try something new and take her by suprise.
You say sex has reduced after only 2 years and you seem to accept that as the 'norm', yes over time in the average relationship of course sex will reduce but we are talking many more years together than you have had.In 2 years you will be okay with sex being virtually non-existant?
What I am trying to say is there simply must be an underlying problem, perhaps something that needs to be talked through. Try and get to the bottom of it - sounds highly suspect to me.
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