A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Two years ago my (60) boyfriend’s EX cheated on him... while dejected and feeling “dirty about all women” his buddies asked him along on their overseas holiday. There my BF hired a sex-worker for the duration. While I appreciate his honesty in telling me and clear from STD, this goes against my moral ethics, especially after he condoned his actions in saying “these women are grateful... have hungry families to feed”. Other women he’s dated and confessed this to have either declined going out with him any further or were FWB. Somehow after 4 months of us dating I’ve started to reassess our values and other niggling issues. Regardless of how he exceptionally treats, is attentive to me and our compatibility in other areas is sensational, in the long run I need a man I can walk proudly beside. I am looking for your counsel how to break away from this man.
View related questions:
std Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2019): First-off, you don't take anyone's word that they're STD-free; especially someone you know hired a sex-worker.
Using sex-workers is first and foremost exploitative. If a person goes that far to earn money; they are seriously down on their luck. They've hit rock-bottom. He's not doing charity-work hiring someone to have sex with him. She's only having sex for the money. He's knowingly taking advantage of her plight; if he knows she's desperate. You can put-on makeup, wear very expensive clothes, and call yourself an "escort" or "call-girl." If you sell sex, you're a prostitute. Male or female, it's still a prostitute.
Knowing all this, you decided to date him anyway. Now you don't have the nerve to tell him you wish to stop dating.
Nothing beats honesty. He's 60 years old. He'll get over it. So what if someone cheated on him? That wasn't you! I'm not suggesting you shouldn't be compassionate, but straightforward.
Be firm and polite. "I'm sorry, but I don't think this is working for me. It was very nice spending time with you; but I'm afraid after some thinking I wish to move on."
I know it's uncomfortable to reject someone; but wanting to and not doing it is leading him on.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2019): You owe him nothing . This man clearly had no respect for women if he thinks it’s ok to buy another human being to use for sex because she is in dire circumstances
Tell him not to contact you again . Tell him why and then block
His number . Simple
...............................
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (9 February 2019):
 How do you break away from him? As quickly and as cleanly as possible.
You have already decided he is not for you. Yes, he MAY tick lots of boxes but his attitude in this area does not sit well with you, as well as "other niggling issues". For you, that is a deal breaker and you need to be honest to YOURSELF. Why waste his time and yours?
How much or how little explanation for ending the relationship you choose to give him is entirely up to you. Personally I would go with what Honeypie suggested and keep it short and to the point. Tell him you don't want to waste his time or string him along, but you don't see a future with him. It's only been 4 months so it's no biggie in the grander scheme of things.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (8 February 2019):
 Just be plain and simple with him and tell him I don't see the two of us being a good match long term, I wish you well and have a nice life. Or say, YOU have decided HE isn't WHAT you are looking for.
then you BLOCK his number and move on.
YOU do NOT owe him further explanation or to keep dating him.
It's only been 4 months. He'll get over it and so will you. Just don't drag it out or string him along because you don't want to "hurt" his feelings.
...............................
|
