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female
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*ickie
writes: hello, im 36 been with my husband for 14 years married four months ago, in all we have a good relationship,but i struggle with jealousy to the point i tried to end my life,my jealousy is sparked by his need to look at other woman either in the street or pictures of them, he even admitted to me that if he sees a woman with a nice body he has thought he wished mine was the same . please can you help its tearing me apart and our relationship.
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female
reader, mickie +, writes (20 June 2006):
mickie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi, thankyou to everyone that replied i am so gratefull for the advice of each of you,it is very uplifting to know that people out there ( who dont even know me) are willing to try to help me sort myself out, which i promised myself iam going to do that, i wish that was as easy to do as say . anyway thankyou again to you all.
A
female
reader, toritor567 +, writes (20 June 2006):
Dump him.you dont say that,well atleast you dont admit it.so make him jeaous.cause its like playing hard to get, and it always works
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A
female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (20 June 2006):
 Guys check out other women, fact of life.
Doesn't mean they are going to cheat or love them more than you, they just think they are hot.
I think Kiefer Sutherland is hot but I'm not going to cheat on my boyfriend with him. (Even if that opportunity somehow presented itself!)
However in saying that, your boyfriend shouldn't say that he wishes you looked like another woman - that's a bit hurtful and pretty dumb on his part.
I would tell him how that made you feel that it makes you feel sad and low.
You can't stop him from looking from other women and that is something that you have to understand but there is a limit and he has crossed that by telling you what he told you. You need to talk to him and reach a compromise.
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A
female
reader, Smiler +, writes (19 June 2006):
 Hey sweetie
Firstly i'm so sorry your really feeling this way :o( honey don't talk about ending your life... life is such a precious gift you should cherish every single second of it... sure your jealousy sounds like its getting you both down but you can seek help for that councilling as suggested above but your husband could try being a little more understanding why is he wishing you looked like someone else? i'm not suprised its tearing you apart you need to check that behaviour of his for a start how does he expect your jealousy to improve when he's doing stupid stuff like that what an ass! firstly i'm sure your a pretty lady with a beautiful personaility, don't let this man crush your self confidence its low enough already without any assistance from him at all he should be complimenting you enableing you to grow as a person not putting you down and watching you sink like! jealousy in usually stemed from low confidence and self esteem so you just need help boosting it your husband can help you do that compliments suprises love support encouragement... he is ment to love you honey not knock your self worth! you need to sit down with him have good heart to heart explaining all i have said to you about this and how things have to change you need support and love don't take this rubbish any more :o) !
I hope my advice was able to help you out with your situation babe and good luck with this... if you ever need a friend or a chat or just more advice don't hesitate to email me sweetie, I would love to hear from you again and know how you got on... Remember i'm always here for you anytime ok
You Take Care Sweetie X
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A
female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (19 June 2006):
 Whilst I appreciate jealousy can be hard on the other person, he really shouldnt say things like he wishes that you had a body like some of the women he sees! Thats bound to make you feel worse and feel that hes attracted to them and not you and make you even more jealous! If hes always saying things like this then I can see why you might be jealous and it is understandable. Have a chat with him and let him know that your taking steps to stop venting your jeaoulsy but you need him to stop saying things like he does. Once he has stopped this comparing you to other women you might find that things are a bit easier. As far as taking this jealousy to the extreme step that you mentioned, that really wouldnt be the answer! yOu need to deal with it head on, you admit that you got issues with jealousy and with his help you should be able to get this under control. Maybe it is the way he acts that makes you jealous, let him know that you want to change, but you need his help and if's going to ogle other women then maybe he is the problem, that said, the more you tell someone not to do something they do it! But if he really sees how you want to change and is prepared to help then things will hopefully pan out, but i dont think you are entirely to blame on this, he needs to do his part aswell.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2006): you have to stop this for your own good,try and get some conselling.i had a affair with a man who's wife was like you.she was so bad she didnt even like him having contact with his own family.theres no need to act like this you will push him away if you dont stop.he must want to be with you or he would of left by now,just give him his own space sometimes,let him breathe.good luck
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