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male
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*anee7
writes: is it always a test!!!i met this girl who was really into me. after the first nite i met her, conversation came easy and there was instant attraction. i left it relatively short and got her number. That nite i sent her a msg in her native language (polish), saying goodnite!!! she really liked it and responded almost right away! after that she send me a large number of sms in the next couple of days asking about me and claiming she wanted me to help pass her days quicker and we orgainsed to go out for dinner. the date went great and i dropped her home at 1am as time got away from us! the next morning she met me at the beach at 6.30am before work! i thought that was extremely keen on her behalf. since then we have been on about 5 dates and have had amazing times. After the second date she started smsing me about what my expectations were and what kind of a relationship i was after eg. Long term, short term, casual or friendship. i was a little taken back by her bluntness.She said she was expecting friendship and if anything were to transpire then we would see how it goes, and that being said she was looking forward to getting to know me better.Whilst on the second date she said something about meeting the parents and she didn’t do that until she was properly dating. The last date we went on was with her sister and her sister’s boyfriend. The day was great and she was very affectionate towards me with hugs and all the rest that accompanies that. Afterwards we went back to her house to watch a movie. Just so happens she still lives at home and i had to meet her parents. Whist the movie was on i just went to put my arm around her and she said she couldn’t get comfortable, and she hoped she wasn’t giving me the wrong idea about us being affectionate. Before i was about to leave i asked her if she didn’t like the affection she should’ve just let me know so i didn’t look stupid. her response was that she loved it when were outside of the family home but she wanted to take it step by step. After i left, she sms’d me saying she was sorry to confuse me and she had a great time. Since then she has had exams and has been busy with full time work, which i knew was coming up before our previous date. The next day she called me venting about her day and how bad it was. The following day i sent a rose with a small memento from our first date. she smsd it was such a sweet thing to do and thanked me. i said i just wanted to ensure her day was better than the day before. She said i definitely made that happen. Since then i have backed off as i haven’t really heard much from her assuming she was busy with her studies and work. The other nite i saw her sisters boyfriend (charles) and he told me i should come to this dance he was hosting as they were all going to be there. i said i might come depending on what i had on. Anyway that nite i had to catch up with some other friends who were at a venue on the same street. As i was walking past were the dance was i found it was still going. So i thought i would go in and say hi to charles expecting the girls to have left. to my surprise she was there and she totally blew me off. so i took it with a grain of salt and had a chat to her sister asking if i had done something wrong. she said she had been acting like that to everyone and i shouldn’t worry about it cos her exams were to be over soon. i then said hi to charles and told them i had to meet some friends and left. 10 mins later i got a msg from her saying "sorry for being such a bitch im not up to talking to anyone at the moment - im under a lot of stress".I don’t know how what to think about the whole situation. The fact that she has told me that she hasn’t been on anymore than 1 date with any guys in the past 2 years, accompanied by all the positive things she has said about me and the fact that her sister told me it was ok makes me think I am over reacting and she might just be busy stressing. But another part of me feels like maybe she is just blowing me off and nothing is going to happen. I also think she has probably been really hurt before and she has kind of fallen into this with me much quicker than she thought so now she is backing off to see if I will stick around. She has said to me that im too good to be true and asked me if I was a “player”. So is this a test to see if im sticking around, and is she still keen? Any insight would be great, thanks
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reader, Eddiezbabygurl67 +, writes (20 June 2006):
 hey there buddy, my name is Jess....i love this kinda question :D its my FAVORITE, im only 16 and im a teen couselor at my school these i get often, i've even done that to a couple guys myself.....ya know, a girl when she's under a lot of stress...and if its the right time of the month she can kinda act this way sweetie, its absolutly NOTHING outta the ordianry thing called life! :) let her know that your htere for HER and her only and that ur no player....because ya know...a girls heart is suuuper sensitive and she doesnt want to fall for something that will make her heartache later....i know why she thinks its too good to be true, because you are exactly what she's looking for and she's surprised she's found it..soo..she wants to know "why arent you taken" "whats wrong with you cuz ur soooo perfect somethins gotta be wrong" ya know, show her how perfect you are and how its not too good to be true that its just....TRUE, and she's got you, and that there are no strings attached,give her somethin shereally likes, a favv flower maybe sayin, IM ALL YOURS NO STRINGS ATTACHED :) ya know, thats soo cuteee and just..what a girl wants to hear hope it all works out for the best :) Jess ....keep me in how it goes ok?..thats if you take my advice, and if you dont...still ..i still want to be able to help :)..and if you choose not to take my advice and things go downhil....just remember what i said then think.."what do you have to lose?" lol hope all is well....hope i helped :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2006): It seems that this girl does not know what she wants. OK she is studying for exams but that is no reason to treat you so badly and besides was she studying for her exams at the dance?
You have to decide what you want. If you want a relationship with this girl, talk to her tell her you are prepared to wait until after her exams but make it clear to her that you are not prepared to be treated badly.
If she won't talk to you - you have to ask yourself is worth waiting for?
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