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I am going to confront him... right?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 February 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 7 February 2011)
A female United States age 41-50, *enta writes:

I have been seeing this man since Nov and I have been thinking for a while now he is a player and that things are not adding up. I only seem him on the weekdays after 8 pm. We never go out on any dates. We sit at his place and watch movies etc. After doing this for 3 months I begin to think if wer will ever go outside and have some fun. I ask him if he will eventually do outside things with me and he tells me to see how the relationship develops?? That was the tip of the ice burg and then we made plans for the last 2 Sat nights together and he ended up canceling the first he canceled a few hrs before and the second was minutes before with some bs excuse. I have come to the conclusion that he must have a gf or a girl he sees on the weekends. Beacuse the weekends he is hard to get a hold of. We text less etc and seem to be MIA. So he maybe he had her when we met or met her during his time with me.

But enough is enough I woke up yest and sent him a text that said " just wanted to let you know I am all done with the hanging out scene and I hope you find what you want" He replied "OK" I knew he couldnt talk...it was Sun and that girl must of been over.

That what I think is goin on when he cancels she either calls him and say I will be coming by later on and he gets rid of me to hang with her. But I felt bad about the text, I do like him and I am having a hard time dealing with him really not feeling anything for me?? So we agreed to meet up in person sometime to talk about it. Funny how we couldnt meet yest since he must of been with her.

So whats his deal? Does he even like me? We would hang out 3 times a week in the early stages I was over on the weekends and now I dont go over on the weekends. I feel like he just tells me what he wants to hear. I told him he is palying mind games.

What I really want is to confront his ass and just leave him behind. Do you think it is ok to confront him and let him know that he is a liar he has a gf and he is a player and he also lied about his age. Told me he is 33 and he is 41 I feel like he is having a mid life crisis and is with the young 21 year old because they look good but he can play his game on them where I am 36 attractive, smart witty and he has more in common with me but he need the trophy on his arm to feel good. It is too bad he is so shallow to let a real women go. So my question is Did he ever like me?? Did he say all of that nice stuff and mean it?? It feels awful being played but in the end he got played by me because I found him out.

Any suggestion to confront him and how to move on?? If I leave will he ever come back to me?? Not that I Want him he is a waste of time but I just wonder if he really liked me???

View related questions: liar, move on, player, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2011):

you say "we meet weekdays after 8-m, never go out or meet at weekends.."

And still you are thinking that you need to confront him?

Don't waste your time. I am sorry but if you didn't know what is a booty call now you know.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2011):

He did text me later and wanted to talk about the situation

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A male reader, Jmtmj Australia +, writes (7 February 2011):

Jmtmj agony aunt(But enough is enough I woke up yest and sent him a text that said " just wanted to let you know I am all done with the hanging out scene and I hope you find what you want" He replied "OK")

He replied "OK"... this is not the reply of somebody who cares whether they lose you or not.

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A female reader, AuntyEm United Kingdom +, writes (7 February 2011):

AuntyEm agony auntDid he like you?...After the way he has treated you, what do you think?

You are a BUG (a Back UP Girlfriend)a warm body to hang with so he doesn't have to be alone on nights he's not seeing another woman. I am surprised he doesn't keep you in the closet with a dustcover over you...because you are an appliance to him...something to be used. Something to be picked up and dropped when his plans change.

Sorry for the tough talk but you seem to have lost sight of what is really going on.

Should you confront him?...yes, if you want to destroy any dignity you have left. Personally you would come out of this better if you got your running shoes on and took a hike as far away from him as possible. Change your number, delete him from your life and give no explaination. He doesn't need any explaination because he is well aware that he is treating you like C**p!!! The only input you have in this 'relationship' is that you are ALLOWING him to treat you like C**p.

Save yourself...run!!!!

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