A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was made redundant nearly 8 months ago now, and despite applying for numerous jobs and attending many interviews I have been unable to find work. I had clinical depression many years ago and am worried that the constant rejection is going to tip me back into it. I am already feeling very low and bitter about it all, because I have studied for years to better myself and all to no avail. I even studied for 4 years whilst at the same time holding down a full time job, yet I constantly get told that whilst I am a lovely person there are people out there with more relevant experience. I tried to do even more studying yet the local colleges aren't running the courses due to lack of numbers so how are these people supposedly getting these qualifications if there is nowhere to study them? It just doesn't add up. Meanwhile, I am watching my family and friends get ahead in life who did really poorly at school and never did anything to better themselves. It all seems so dreadfully unfair. My boyfriend wanted us to move in together but we obviously haven't been able to. I am now starting to feel that I am holding him back and it might be fairer on him to let him go. Whilst at first he was very supportive of me, he offers me no words of encouragement at all now. I think it is simply that he doesn't know how to help. I sometimes get the impression that he doesn't think I am doing enough to find work because him and his friends have always been lucky enough to walk straight from one job into another one with total ease, although he has never said that. I feel so lucky he has stood by me, but he seems very distant now and I wonder if this lack of me finding a job has changed his feelings towards me. I think he is fed up with it all, as much as I am, because we are in a long distance relationship and are seeing one another less and less now. I am still being proactive and have asked my Dad to send out 500 flyers to his customers to see if anyone has work for me. He has agreed to do it once the Christmas rush is over. I do voluntary work as well, but I am finding it increasingly difficult to stay on top of things.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2008): Yes, people like you who study very hard are usually very 'creative' thinkers. You may be trying too hard to be in a job that keeps you from thriving in your natural gifts/talents.
My sis-in-law tried to get a 'business' job, but it 'drained' her and she got depressed.
Her natural talent was flower arranging and store window decorating. She's Very good at it!...she feels very fulfilled. It's something many 'brainy' people can't do either :)
So like Uncle Phil said, try to think outside the box and you may discover some hidden talents unique to you.
"Work your passion, and the treasure will follow"
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2008): I can well understand your frustration. Unfortunately now is a very bad time to be out of work and looking for a job. I know it's no consolation, but thousands of others are in the same position as you - if not millions worldwide. I've two friends who in recent weeks have been made redundant, and they were in very well paid top jobs. No-one is immune from the current financial crisis, and I fear it will get worse before it gets any better.
I think if I were you I'd try thinking outside the box a bit. I don't know what kind of work you're trained to do or are looking for, but maybe if you look in a completely different direction you might find something. Stacking shelves in Tesco might not be exciting, but it's a job, so something like that might be a stepping stone to bigger and better things, especially if you have the potential to do more challenging things.
Have you thought about becoming self-employed? If no-one will give you a job, make one for yourself doing something you're good at.
I wish you luck.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (10 November 2008):
Ah the wonder of unemployment. I did it for 8 weeks and was suicidal so I really know how hard it is... don't even get me started on jobcentreplus!!
You say that you have all the paper work but not the relevant experience. I had a huge argument with a woman once who was pushing kids to go to uni because "employers recognise degrees as experience." They don't. It's bollocks. Qualifications only help later in life once you have got off the bottom rung in most areas. Going to college is not the answer for you, you need to get some real world experience.
So, the first thing you need to do is get on work experience in your field.
Get in to someone you want to work for and get to know their systems, prove that you are great and get as much advice as you can. Get your name known and then when jobs come up they will think of you.
It might make you feel better if you got a part time job - just ANY part time job. Even if it's in a pub then you will feel better than being on the dole.
I think you know that your boyfriend problem is just a side effect of the job situation so fix that and all will be good.
Good Luck!! xx
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