A
male
age
51-59,
*kippyrama
writes:i have been seeing this lovely woman whom i met on a date site, i like her a lot although we dont see each other much she lives 15 miles from me. when we do meet i always treat her nice ie meals etc however my problem is she will not get in touch with me unless i contact her first. when i text her i will ask if she is alright she will answer and i wont hear from her again unless i text again. i am becoming more frustrated because of this because i feel that i am doing all the chasing and getting nothing in return. i dont know if i feel that i am being used or if i should be more patient can you help
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2010): I think she is using you for a free meal every time. Get
another life and move on.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2010): ******Tread very carefully.********** She's still seeing a long-term significant other.
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A
female
reader, monkey friend  +, writes (15 October 2010):
Some women like to be chased for to say. They want the man to initiate everything.
Your options: 1) break up with her or 2) TALK to her about it.
relationships never work out without communication. Both must give and take a little, so express your concerns to her.
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A
female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (15 October 2010):
 Cut the contact and see how she reacts. I was scared to ever contact my first bf, I let him contact me. But he soon got tired of it and stopped. When I finally broke down and called, he told me that he thought I was just being "nice" and only replying when he initiated contact. Needless to say, I started calling/texting to prove him wrong. This woman might be old-fashioned, eager to let the man make every move and take control. However yes, drop contact, put the ball in her court. If she texts, CALL her back. Tell her you didn't think she had an interest in you. Carefully note her response. Text messaging to me doesn't allow in-depth communication, you learn more by picking up on the nuances and tones of a person's voice. If she doesn't, her loss. You can't ever say that you didn't try.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2010): This woman may be scared of chasing you away if she is to keen so try to say something the next time you meet, if this doesn't work don't give up on love because plenty of women would love an attentive partner who likes to txt an chat!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (15 October 2010):
Then quit chasing. Simple as that. I agree that she needs to be making an effort. She's not. So don't contact her and see what happens. If she makes contact, say you thought she wasn't interested. If she doesn't get into contact, meet a better woman.
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