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I am falling in love with my dead boyfriend's brother

Tagged as: Family, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 January 2011) 7 Answers - (Newest, 3 July 2012)
A female United States age 41-50, *ikki607 writes:

I think I may be falling in love with my deceased father of my children / boyfriend's brother. It's been 2 months now and we have this connection where we both can't stand going a day with out speaking to eachother. He has been great with me and the kids. I have even thought about asking him to adopted them. Is it ok to have a relationship with your deceased boyfriend's brother?

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A female reader, Leprdlisa United States +, writes (3 July 2012):

Well this happened to me too. I wrote a comment on Facebook that after 3 years, I still miss him & would so anything to have him back. Their mom responded with, "is that what you tell yourself every time you are fucking his little brother?!" (sorry for the foul language!) it is uncalled for! I responded to her with, "just because I have moved on, doesn't mean I didn't care for him & still miss him!" there is NOTHING wrong with this. People are adults and life does have to go on. Like I said; it doesn't mean you never cared for that person!!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (4 January 2011):

Honeypie agony auntI don't see anything "wrong" in it, but you need to take it very slow. Not just replace the BF with his brother.

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A male reader, Problem.helper United States +, writes (4 January 2011):

Problem.helper agony auntIt is. There is nothing wrong with it. But I would wait a little bit more, 2 months is frankly too short of a time and you can still be emotionally vulnerable from what happened. So I would really think about what I actually feel if I were you.

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A male reader, the_phoenic United Kingdom +, writes (4 January 2011):

why not ?

in general he would be more good to your children

than any other man and i t seems that you are starting to love each other,

is there any thing sweetest than love to obey?

Good Luck

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2011):

Give it some time. It is too quick. It might be some genetic similarites between the two. You might be seeing ur husband in his brother. Ofcourse they could have many things in common.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2011):

It is okay, but two months is too little time. When we're vulnerable, strong feelings tend to form a confusing mix.

Just be there for each other, but wait some more time. Eventually the relationship will have to stand on its own.

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A male reader, Cerberus_Raphael Sweden +, writes (4 January 2011):

Cerberus_Raphael agony auntOf course it is okay, you two are the only ones who can truly understand the other's situation. What better match could there be than someone who has gone through the same things you have? Do not be afraid of it, nothing is wrong here.

I hope that helps.

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