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female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Some background may help. I am a woman in my early 40’s. My former husband and I were high school sweethearts and married. He and I had one son. About six years ago just before my husband died unexpectedly we adopted two children. After the death of my husband our son became an important man figure in their lives. He became a sheriff. Six months ago he was killed in the line of duty. Since then his best friend who is 20 whom I have known for a while has been very caring and helpful to myself and my adopted children. When something has needed to be done around that house he stepped in. He has also done things to make the lives of the adopted children and my life better. Since doing these things I have invited him to family gatherings. He has shown up for the sports games of the children. About two months ago he has said to me that I need to start taking some time for myself and my needs. He said that I always make the needs of others be met. He said it was my time. He said that he was able to help. Since then our relationship has further blossomed. He has made my days a better. He sometimes gives me cards, flowers, candy, gifts, and has taken me out several times. We always have a good time together. He makes me feel beautiful and cared about. We have kissed more than once. He has asked if my wants have been met sexual lately. He and I both know they have not. He said that he would love to make love to me and satisfy me sexually. He has said that he cannot imagine anyone not wanting to have sex and become a lover to someone so sexy. Here is where I could use some information. I am debating as to whether or not it would be ok to have sex with him. Any advice? He is 20 years younger than me. I think he is cute and I know he is caring and loving. I also would enjoy sex again. My husband and I had an active sex life. Another thing that I a debating about is whether it is a one time deal or if it would be ok for us to become lovers. It may be about communication with him. I think that he would like to do that. Any advice? I am a little concerned about what his fiends and mine would say about our relationship if we became lovers. Lastly, I am concerned about my adopted children. They are not old enough to understand love and sex. I don’t want them to hear us or walk in on us. What information do you have about having a sex life and raising children?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (24 August 2008):
 In my opinion, this is a no-brainer. The fellow has made his interest known. The age difference does not matter. Just be very discrete about it at first and see what happens after a get-together or two in private (at a hotel maybe)? If word suddenly spreads, then it would reveal his nature. Otherwise, as long as you both are happy, it is your business. Oh, and put a lock on your bedroom door in any case.
A
male
reader, Rhandy  +, writes (24 August 2008):
 will for me theres nothing wrong with that. Age doesnt matters as long as you both love each other and satisfy your needs. What matter most is that you understand and love each other inspite of the ages GAP..Goodluck
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