A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:im fourteen and a virgin and i dont belive in pre marital sex. i have a boyfriend who i have actually been with since were were 11 and now im a freshman. . the issue with my no pre martial sex thing is that im like super super horny and im worried i might go too far with my boyfriend. its not like my family is religious or anything its just since there so unreligious i made that like my policy. is there anyway for me to make sure i dont get caught up in the moment and stop being so horny?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2010): You most likely chose your boyfriend because of the physical attraction you feel for him. This is common.
But remember:
ATTRACTION will fade over time, whereas LOVE is much deeper and can last forever. You'll understand the difference only as you grow up, gradually, over time. Trust me.
For now, study as hard as you can and get your high school diploma. After that, you can start planning your future in terms of: higher education (if you go to college), career, AND the search for your perfect soul mate.
Choose a good husband based on PERSONALITY, not looks!
So if your boyfriend would not be a good husband for you, be honest to yourself and BREAK UP WITH HIM (the sooner, the better). Otherwise you are doomed to lose your precious virginity to someone who will not be your husband. And you do not want that to happen, now, do you?
Oh, and about resisting your urges: stay as far away as you can from temptations (unsupervised parties, dark rooms, porn magazines, etc.) and ask for your parents' help and advice if you are on good terms with them.
A
female
reader, BlondeBabe x  +, writes (10 August 2010):
 You set yourself the boundry line so stick with it as you may regret it later and besides you are still only 14 and full of raging horomones. Just because you don't want to cross the line and go all the way doesn't mean there is other stuff you can't try. Don't rush in to something you could regret.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2010): NO NO NO! I just read the answer that said mutual masturbation is a good idea. No! It's not. Don't do anything! That is the key right there. Build up your self control. I am speaking from experience here. I had to same beliefs, same reasons, and same problem. I lasted until marriage and I know you can too :) My thing was never to go farther than some pretty heavy making out. But never to where we were both naked, because that is where the problems happen and it seems so easy to take that next tiny step, until there are no steps left. Just make sure you keep your head and don't get naked! DO NOT! And if you are pretty much dying to do something, it's easy to get yourself out of that mindset. Just think of something else. People who indulge these feelings don't understand, but I promise it becomes second nature to just change your mind away from sex. And if you think it will make sex less pleasurable later or something silly like that, it won't. Sex is amazing with my husband because I never had to worry about regrets or embarrassment or anything like that. Now we can explore everything and have yet to get bored because we haven't ever done a lot of these new things with anyone else! I am very happy to hear of someone wanting to wait. There are so many advantages! Keep your head and don't listen to society! Good luck and the very best of wishes to you and your extraordinarily happy life :D
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2010): masturbate a lot ?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2010): Two things; masturbate and make sure your boyfriend knows where the boundaries lie.
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A
male
reader, Dr.LanceMerryweather +, writes (10 August 2010):
 Well, it's growing-up time, honey. You made that decision. If you're serious, then it's up to you to be strong-minded enough to see it through. I assume masturbation isn't enough. Try mutual masturbation with your boyfriend - doing it for eachother.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Kenj +, writes (10 August 2010):
 At your age your body is changing, new feelings and urges are part of life. There are other ways to relieve pressure without resorting to having underage sex.
Just dont do anything you will regret later in life.
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