A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:10 months ago my friend gave her friend from college my number, we got talking and arranged to meet up (me, him, my friend and her boyfriend) and go on a day out. My friend told me that he liked me however I didn't feel the same and somehow we stopped texting each other. a few months later he got in a relationship that lasted around 3 months. We got talking again in the middle of August, we planned to start meeting up as I was starting the same college as him. We didn't meet for 4 weeks and even then it wasn't properly, it was literally a 5 minute chat. We text each other everyday and recently we played the "question game". He started to ask quite personal questions and then asked what I thought about friends with benefits. I said it depends on the situation, and he just agreed. A few days later he asked if I wanted to be friends with benefits, I was completely shocked with this and didn't have time to think, so said yes. I spoke about it with my friend (also his friend) and she told me not to rush into things and make sure I know what I'm doing. I am obviously aware of this, I'm not the sort to dive in the deep end and do everything. I want to wait for the right time. He's recently asked for me to send pictures and I agreed, and we've also been talking dirty to each other. Another thing that is really getting to me and making me jealous is that he mentions my friend quite alot. I get the impression he likes her. I like this guy and I don't want to rush into things. I'm having second thoughts about this friends with benefits as much as i'd like to. I'm not sure he likes me as much as I like him and I don't know what to do. Any help or advice on what to do?
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male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (18 December 2012):
For one, I believe 16 is a bit too young for being regularly sexually active, never mind a FWB.
For two, FWB almost NEVER become GFs. Just the way it is.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 December 2012):
 Do not send him pictures of yourself that you would not show mom dad or your little brother… that means no nudes, no underwear…..
Do you understand that FWB means he fucks you and dumps you when someone he deems worthy comes along…
I agree with iAmHereToHelpYou in that FWB is NOT for teens. I don’t really think singles should ever do FWB… it’s more about for folks getting out of LTRs that are missing that physical aspect of a long term relationship.
RULE ONE of teen dating: THE MORE YOU LIKE HIM THE LESS YOU DO PHYSICALLY with him, until the relationship is established.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (18 December 2012):
 I agree with all the other advise you've been given, and would like to add that I don't think you should be sending him pictures. They could get into the wrong hands. Good luck and please wait for someone who likes you and wants you for more than FWB.
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (18 December 2012):
 HI
Please don't do this! have more respect for yourself. He does NOT have any respect for you. All he wants is a leg over is that what you want to be?? It's not worth it and you will be hurt by this. Him on the other hand will just move on to someone else. Also once you start doing the fwb relationships you will find it hard to have a proper loving relationship, because you will be in a routine of what ever goes, and wont feel settled. Just rememeber YOUR body is YOUR temple once used and violated it's hard to make that temple shine again. Keep yourself for the right person in the right relationship.
Mandy x
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A
male
reader, Darrell Goodliffe +, writes (18 December 2012):
 Dont do it. Your already invested in this guy enough to be jealous and FWB only works if there is total detachment and even then it usually ends up with one party getting attached. You said yes because you want to please him and think thats the way to earn his affection and attention which you want. But it will only end up in a bad place for you in the long run. If he does like your friend, which is possible but im not saying for sure he does, then it could get much much worse and you will just create a vortex of badness which will see you getting very, very hurt indeed.
I know you like this guy, I know you want him, BUT this is not the way because you cant even tell if he likes you back, or to be cynical, if he is just getting what he can from you while he really wants your friend. Take a step back, stop this, if hes a decent guy he'll accept this and you can nurture a friendship and maybe more, if he isnt, he wont and he'll prove hes in this for all the wrong reasons. Good luck :)
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