A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:okay so my boyfriend and i have been dating for almost eight months and i'm ready to call it quits. theres too much that makes me unhappy. we started dating by him cheating on his ex with me. that led to our relationship being just physical. i made him promise that he wouldnt try anything on me, he promised, and two weeks later he tried to have sex with me. i confronted him about it and he told me it would stop, i believed him but it kept happening. every time he'd always tell me he was sorry and that it wont ever happen again and i'd believe him, but then it would happen again. i'm not saying its all his fault because it's mine too. but i feel like i have way more self control then he does and that bothers me. when we do have sex (which isnt a lot) im never happy i get so turned off because i feel like he's raping me. i love being with him but i just think that in high school your relationship doesnt need to be based on sex. its just my opinion, i dont see anything good that comes out of it. another thing is that hes jealous of my guy friends, thats gotten a lot better because we talk about everything, but recently he was mad because i was texting one of my best guy friends and not talking to him (understandable) but its like hes so insecure, i used to hang out with this group of guys and girls since my freshman year and now going to my senior year i never see them because i know it bothers him.So i feel like for every good week we have theres two bad ones that follow. i thought love was supposed to be easy, is it really worth all the trying and pain? i just hate having to go up and down all the time...
View related questions:
his ex, insecure, jealous, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2008): Please note that this lady has updated her post and given further information. Please continue this discussion at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/more-advice-is-needed.html
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you so much for your answers so far, it makes me feel better to know that other people have the same opinion as i do, and that i'm not doing the wrong thing.
- to the cheating answer.
it's really weird actually...he has told me he's cheated on most of his other girlfriends but he hasn't cheated on me because of how he feels. i am the first person that has actually made him have a REAL relationship. he never used to talk to his girlfriends about problems and I, I encourage him to tell me things so we can talk things out. plus, he doesn't go out much so i'm really not worried...
another thing, i'm not so proud of this...but i think cheating is a horrible thing to do to someone. when he cheated with his ex i couldn't do it because i felt so bad for her and i stopped. so when we first went out i went to a party with my friends, of course the whole time he kept saying things about it, which made me feel like he didnt trust me (this was when he used to be REALLY insecure) i didnt like that, i felt like he wasnt listening to anything i said. so while i was there i got drunk (for the first time, even though thats not an excuse) and ended up cheating on him. the whole time i was telling the other guy "no i have a bf" but it was nice to not have someone be on your back the whole time.
so me being the person that i am i told my bf about a week later. we talked it out and he forgave me.
-about maybe a month or two later i ended up going to another party and he got really mad (obviously because of what happened last time) but see nothing happened, i called him and we were arguing and crying and i just sat outside while everyone was having fun. my ex (whom i broke up with because there was no feeling) came outside and started talking to me (we hadnt talked in like 5 or 6 months) he was telling me to work it out with my bf so everything would be okay...it got a little better butit didnt, so i went inside and started drinking. i ended up in a bathtub with my ex telling me how much he loved me (he's never said that)and yadda yadda. he tried kissing me but i didnt move i just said "i cant, my bf" he kissed me anyways and we started making out. of course in the morning it was totally different. it was weird and he knew how i felt.
so again a week later i told my bf and he forgave me, he realized that he needed to change if we were going to work.
so i'm not so scared of him cheating on me...
but i feel terrible that that has happened. i have never in my life cheated on anyone, but then again ive never been so unhappy yet so in love with someone either. i feel better though knowing i only made out with these people and that i was drunk and not happy then totally sober, and having a connection with the other person. you know? i know its cheating and cheating is horrible but it puts my mind at ease a little.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008): YOu mention"I am ready to call it quits".
I think the sooner you do that, the better you will feel again.
You are not in a very loving relationship; this guy is not treating you with the respect you deserve; you are not enjoying the sex, and I am really sorry to hear he is putting you through this, as it should not make you feel like"rape".
You are quite right, your relationship should not be based on sex; however, should you have sex, it must be to the mutual satisfaction and enjoyment of both.
His own insecurities makes him jealous of your friendship with other guys;
Kick his butt! Call it quits, don't delay, just do it!
Take controll of your life and start enjoying life!
Good luck.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008): YOu mention"I am ready to call it quits".
I think the sooner you do that, the better you will feel again.
You are not in a very loving relationship; this guy is not treating you with the respect you deserve; you are not enjoying the sex, and I am really sorry to hear he is putting you through this, as it should not make you feel like"rape".
You are quite right, your relationship should not be based on sex; however, should you have sex, it must be to the mutual satisfaction and enjoyment of both.
His own insecurities makes him jealous of your friendship with other guys;
Kick his butt! Call it quits, don't dealy, just do it!
Take controll of your life and start enjoying life!
Good luck.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008): love isnt easy, but it shouldnt be too ahrd either. anyone who cheated to be with you would probably cheat on you. i say leave him, you dont need him splitting up ur relationships for no reason. i dont think its worth it. good luck :) xxoo
...............................
|
