A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I'm mentally exhausted, i've been out of work for 6 months running my fiance's business. I really want to get back to my own job but I have no oompf. I believe I'm depressed. He has me running ragged. Seriously I do just about everything but dress him up! He is a slob, he can never get things on his on. I have to constantly remind him to say thank you. He screams at me at least 3 to 5 times a day. I try to keep it cool when my son is around and put on a smile for his sake, but I know he knows i'm getting fed up. He has a very strenuous job, makes good money, but I'm getting to the point I just can't hack it!! My 9 year old son wanted to be a ninja for halloween and he told him no because he has been one for the last 3 years and wants some new photos of him. I gave into my son and now he's again pissed at me. Personally I don't care if my son wants to be a ninja for the rest of his trick o treating life!! When he leaves he has a list for me to do. I try my best to get done what I can. If not, he's a monster. The rest of my night is hearing how lazy I am, how i'm incompetent etc. His mother recently brought up old girlfriends to me on my birthday (that I had to cook and clean myself!) I told her I really didn't want to talk about it, so she continued and then I went and got my fiancee about it in front of everyone and although his family agreed with me to my face now the family including him are against me and said I should have just kept quiet because that's just the way the mother is and I need to just deal with it! If I feel uncomfortable in anything about any situation and express my self then I am wrong and should just deal with it. I'm so sick and tired of this shit. What's worse, is everything is in my name for the business, because he has awful credit. And I want no part of it!! I'm so tired of staying in it for my money. I sooo want out and this is the first time I'm actually contemplating on how to get out of this and over him! It sucks that the holidays are near, but I don't want to use that for an excuse... Our good times are getting fewer by the weeks. When we go away on vaca or have nothing to do he is like night and day. He's great to me and my son! But this is probable 1 day a week, maybe if that. How do I let go and get out of this without the agony. I don't have friends, he has isolated me from this to. It's been a few years now and I haven't kept in touch with people, really. Honestly, to top it off, I'm such a beautiful woman. Inside and out. His friends all tell him how the hell did you get her?? People always compliment my looks. I used to be a model for a swimsuit line. I have always been pretty, but not conceited at all! I'm very down to earth. I always considered myself smart too, but boy this takes the cake. I'm really in a doozy, and I can't figure out how I let all this pile up on me to point I don't know how to get out!!!!
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (16 October 2009):
Tell him you're tired and that you need to be given a break. Men are great at taking advantage of something good. He's done just that. Take a huge step back and let him know that you need to feel loved. Guys don't do hints, they listen to fact. Talk to him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2009): I think it is a bad idea to make this kind of a decision when you are mad or upset.
If you need to do so, pack a bag and take a vacation, from everything and give yourself some time to think.
I also think you should tell your fiance what you need from him in very specific details.
You can't blame him entirely if you have taken on more than you can handle although I know how easily a man can keep depending on you until you are ready to just break...been there.
Really, instead of blowing your top, think quietly for awhile and come up with some solutions that don't involve leaving, writer them down and go over them with your fiance and seeif you can't get some reciprocity going on here.
Everyone is a little stressed out over the bad economy, I am sure you wish you could find a job you like, but don't let this ruin an otherwise good relationship, don't fight and fuss, just try to work this out as partners and see if you can't come to some agreement...
You might really regret just chucking it all because you are simply worn out.
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A
female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (16 October 2009):
 Calm down. You are not stuck and this can be solved. First you need to talk to your husband about this. If he is willing then it would be a good idea to go to a couple therapy or something similar.
Now if he is not willing to help you through this then it is time to take your leave. Explain to him calmly why you want a divorce etc. Try to remain calm and in control the whole time and don't let him affect you.
Get a lawyer to help you settle everything. Contact old friends and put out your resumes.
Good Luck!
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