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Is it normal for female friends to tease their male friends with their breasts?

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Question - (11 February 2014) 11 Answers - (Newest, 21 February 2014)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Is it normal for female friends to tease their male friends with their breasts? Since I met them in college, my two female friends tend to mess with me. They know I can be a bit, what's the word...embarrassed when I see their cleavage or something. I know it's weird, but I feel bad for looking, so I try not to.

They like to play on this for the fun of it, and sometimes it's funny while others it is not. One night, I was going to pay for the meal at a restaurant we had gone to. Before they even knew, they decided to use their breasts to get me to pay. Granted, I did get to see them for all their worth.

I don't know. I know it's pretty much fun and games. It can be funny, but other times it just...gets to me. That night, for example, it made me feel like I just paid to see their boobs when I had intended on paying for the bill regardless. I hate that, or maybe I just hate myself for feeling the way I do. Am I just over-thinking things too much?

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A female reader, KlassyKirsty United States +, writes (21 February 2014):

KlassyKirsty agony auntIt sounds to me like these 2 girls used and flaunted their best assets to their own advantage just to entice you to pay instead of splitting the bill and paying their own fair share. What a snide manipulative way to wriggle out of something scott free.

Don't allow them to have the upper hand next time otherwise you will wind up in the same situation again which is being twisted around their little fingers.

They are just trying to tease you for their own entertainment cuz they know it makes you feel uneasy. Try and let these girls fade out of the picture which means no more ego stroking for them and plus better more respectful friends for you :)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2014):

I appreciate the responses everyone. Sorry for the misinformation on the whole flashing thing. It wasn't really public. I mean, it was in the parking lot after we left, but no one was really around. They just did it because they said they would. I already planned on paying anyway, I just never made any sort of response to their agreement they offered.

I guess I am being a bit too uptight about all of it. I don't know, this is just something that's been in my head for quite a while which shouldn't be.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (12 February 2014):

CindyCares agony aunt Your friends flashed you ( in public ? ) to have you pay their drinks ?!

Who are your friends, Snooki and JWow ?

Maybe you should look for classier friends...

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A male reader, Gauntlet France +, writes (12 February 2014):

Gauntlet agony auntI must say that's the true first time I hear about girls mocking their male mates with their breasts. Oh, my ! I've missed something on this damn planet !

As it's a total piece of news for me, here is my opinion which is just AN opinion: no, it's not normal to do that.

It's not normal because it's not in the norm (less than 1% of them do that, I guess).

It's not normal because it's an abnormal behaviour among girls (who the hell wants to be pictures later as the "titties teaser girl").

It's not normal because it's not polite.

That said, times are changing and I've not been a teenager for a while. Who knows, maybe it is more common nowadays ?

Side remark: I notice through the different messages posted below that if a girl uses her breasts to kid in a friend guy's face, no problem, it can be seen like an innocent joke. Well ! Nevertheless, imagine a minute a guy grabbing his balls to tease his girl friends. GROSS ! PERV ! I can hear people screaming like police sirens from my chair...

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (11 February 2014):

Honeypie agony auntSo what it's a pair of boobs! You make it sound like they just showed you the answers of the universe! BOOBS, my man... News flash... ALL WOMEN have them!

However, flashing you for a meal? seriously? I would actually laugh it off and NOT pay for their part.

No one says you have to pay for a flash.

And I agree, they are having fun with you because of HOW you reacts. You "might" think you are handling it cool and calm, but I BET you those girls have got you pegged and they know EXACTLY how to "play" you.

Ever heard of New Orleans Mardi Gras? Flashing guys is like the standard for women on Mardi Gras . For beards, drinks.... you name it. (Oh and dudes will flash you too, whether you like it or not...)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2014):

Seriously? You're complaining because women are showing you their boobs? Poor guy, I can't imagine the emotional torture you must be feeling. Want a hug?

Sorry, OP, I couldn't resist, but the point to my condescension is you're being a bit too uptight about the whole thing.

You wanted to show them you were paying anyway and that you're some kind of hero or something? They showed boobs, which is the best kind of gratitude you can get if you ask me. It's not something a decent man could ever ask for in order to pay but a decent man also wouldn't insult their generosity by refusing such a fun gift. As long as you don't have a girlfriend then it's all in good fun.

Don't feel bad for looking, it's normal. Just don't stare and instead of accidentally glancing at them, take a peek when they're not looking to get rid of that urge. They really don't mind you checking out their boobs so don't feel guilty, just don't be a creep about it or make women uncomfortable and they really have no problem with being checked out. It's a compliment. the only reason you hear some women and feminazis moan about that kind of thing is when the guy is ugly and they're not interested, it's only when it's a guy they're not interested in is it negative attention. They want only handsome men to check them out in a way that's dignified or like your two friends they do it to test your limits and have some fun.

If you play your cards right here OP you can get them to test some pretty damn sweet limits of yours if you know what I mean. I'd go along with it, gently increase the fun and lead them further and further with this.

The first threesome I had was with two girls like your friends. Two girls who egged each other on to do "wild" shit, thought it was fun to test boundaries and play games.

Just play their game and have fun.

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (11 February 2014):

Fatherly Advice agony auntHmmm,

That's a bit beyond my experience. In other words I would find that as weird as you do. Especially the level to which they take it. (my understanding is they flashed you in public) and that they do it together.

I just want to play the cautious adviser here. So if you think I'm overboard just ignore me. If a person is doing something of a sexual nature in order to embarrass another person, they are using that action/words / body language to gain power over that person, that would be a definition of sexual harassment. Now young people and inexperienced people frequently cross the line from playfulness to harassment, without having any attention of harassing or cruelty of any kind. From my point of view a person who is making you uncomfortable needs to be told that you didn't like that. The trouble is if you say "That made me uncomfortable" they may think you are just playing and not change the behavior. On the other hand if you tell a friend you feel "harassed" they may take that as an accusation and be very offended. I'm trying to think if I've ever successfully talked to a person about this. Probably the best thing would be to be as polite as possible. Something along the lines of "You are very attractive and I enjoy the attention but one more button would make me feel better"

For a wrap up, I do hope they are just comfortable and happy with you, and are not using you to test their wow power. I hope they are playful but still consider you as a date-able man. I hope they don't think you are one of the girls. I hope they and you both realize that public displays of affection on their part keep you from meeting other girls who may be interested in you as more than a friend.

FA

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (11 February 2014):

olderthandirt agony auntSadly, yeah,it's "normal" girls know they have enormous power over men and they use it to tease and manipulate and get what they want in life. The trick is to find a way to to ognore the erge to look or be lured into the lure. because once hooked you are like a fish on a line and you are soon to be skinned alive and tossed in a hot pan of grease for the rest of your life. Run friend run.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2014):

There having a little fun because they know and like you.

Your innocence and blushing is refreshing to them; because for the most part, guys usually take liberties. Not the other way around.

Don't judge all women by two you know personally. If they didn't get a red-face and shocked reaction; it wouldn't be so much fun. The novelty will wear off for them. You, will never lose the thrill of seeing boobs.

Don't let yourself be manipulated. However; most straight guys are a sucker for a great pair of boobs. Even we gay guys have to be told to look our girlfriends in the eyes; when they are bodacious! I just can't help myself!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2014):

obviously, they're making you embarrassed for the fun of it. they're just paying with you, but it's not always funny. talk to them and tell them that while they think its funny all the time, you dont. act serious and hopefully they'll listen. a lot of girls do that when they like you or they know that you know someone they like. eg. say if you were good friends with a guy, lets call him brandon. and your female friend or possibly both of them liked this guy. they'd show off their boobs so that you tell the guy about how big they are. hope that made sense''' gud luck x!

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A male reader, BrownWolf Canada +, writes (11 February 2014):

BrownWolf agony aunt

If two ladies like you enough to tease you with their breast...I have two words for you...Enoy it. Some men have to pay for that, and others fantasize about it. You are getting the real deal.

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