| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I am a couple of months out of a four year relationship and struggling to cope. Unlike the end of my five year relationship before this, where I was very angry and that anger just faded into nothing- this time, I am just so sad and very disappointed. I don't understand it and don't know how to deal with it. I have tried everything- keeping busy at work, exercising, hobbies, but at 3 AM I am wide awake and close to tears.There is no one I can talk to about it...
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male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (6 April 2016):
 Sorry to hear about your grief, because that's what it is. When a relationship ends it can be worse than a loved one dying. That's because they are still there, only not with you.
If you read up on grief counselling you will find that much of the same advice applies. You might even want to have some counselling during which you can express your pain to a professional. He should be able to give you a coping mechanism.
When you finally meet the one you are supposed to be with, you will be grateful for this. You will be so glad you got rid of the dross in your life to make room for something more special.
Hang in there. It's a transient period. Turn your face to the rain.
A
female
reader, missy_25  +, writes (6 April 2016):
Sometimes you just have to let those feelings out. If you're sad, be sad. Cry it out. Write down all the emotions and thoughts, vent it out. The point is one day once you've thought about what lead to your breakup and understood or even better, accepted, why you're better off with each other, then you know you've started with the healing process.Right now it probably still feels fresh to you. All the emotions. Just do your best not to be in places, people etc. that will trigger the feelings you once had for him. It will help you move on. The best thing to do is find ways to love yourself first again. Enjoy being single and recognize your other blessings in life. Focus on the positives vs the negatives. That might help. I KNOW that one day you'll be ok again. Just go at the pace you're comfortable in, but don't waste what God has to offer for you. don't think that another relationship or a guy can make you feel happy. YOU can make yourself happy again by getting to know YOU during this time of your life. Use that freedom. You can always talk to God and pray to give you strength. You can also talk to a therapist or make new friends.
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