A
female
age
36-40,
*OuuOO
writes:who to choose? how to break up without breakign a good man's heart?5 months ago in Munich I met a silly, skinny Swiss boy. ok, he's 24 and I'm 22, but still... we laughed, got drunk, kissed, snowball fought, poked, and danced our way into love. he really liked me, but I wasn't ready to commit, to have a steady boyfriend. and then I met the Israeli (26). he's Steady, more my physical type, a really good person, the type of man you can Rely on. he fell in love with me at first sight, and needed me to Be His Girlfriend. I was afraid of loosing him and wanted to give him a chance, so I agreed. eventually I moved to Vienna to be with him, but not before sleeping with the other guy on my last night in Munich. of course the other guy was saddened. but we agreed to stay friends. now the Israeli and I have a good relationship with super great sex. he's really nice if not a bit boring. also, he's a programmer with aspirations to program video games. I hate video games. sometimes I miss the banter of the other guy, our childish fun, our discussions of contemporary art and music. oh, I'm a musician and so is he. a few weeks ago, the Swiss guy came to visit me in Vienna and turned my world upside down. he met my boyfriend and we all hung out together. the next day he and I had time alone...we wrestled, threw grapes at each other, visited a museum, and... kissed. god, I miss his kisses (swiss guys are the best kissers in my experience).I want to be with him. The problem is one of distance-- Switzerland to the USA (I'm going home soon).and I need to know how to break up with my boyfriend, but gently. he's been amazing to me. he loves me. I want to love him back, but I can't help but think that what the Swiss guy and I share is a once in a lifetime chance. with him there's fireworks and mazes, puzzles and passion. with my boyfriend, only a friendly, happy bumbling down of mundane roads.help me! should I leave them both behind? go home and try to forget about them while I nurse my broken heart?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (29 May 2009):
 Try Honesty!
So you sleep with one guy before you leave him to go to Vienna, then this guy visits you and you cheat on your other man by Kissing guy number 1?
You are way too immature to be in any kind of relationship.
Be honest with the Israeli and break it off. Break it off with the Swiss guy too. You are stringing them both along selfishly...And as for your broken heart? There is no good way to do it. YOU CREATED THIS WHOLE MESS...OWN IT AND GROW UP!
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