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How should I handle these 2 cliquey co-workers without it turning into a situation?

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Question - (29 July 2017) 4 Answers - (Newest, 30 July 2017)
A female Australia age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Please help me with this work situation.

If you had a 2 works colleagues (younger 24 and 29) who did not say hi to you,(you say hi to them, to be polite) but they say hi to others do you keep trying?

or speak when needed...

to be professional

They are very 'cliquey" with a few people and you seem not "good enough" to say hi to.. yet they happily say hello and chat and laugh with others..

there has been no arguement, you are equals, none of you bosses, you are all ok at your job, no "bad" blood,you just get cold shouldered by them..

Like you are beneath them, not good enough to even say hi to..

Confrontaton is not an option.. they will gossip about it! and what do I say "why dont you say hello?" it looks so high school.

I am always professional at work, with them and others. They are best buddies with the managers and bosses also, and the 29 year old at times (not often) is in charge, she's better when she's in charge, the moment she's with her 24 yr old buddy she changes..

Should I keep speaking when I need to and always be pleasant and never show "fear" or intimidation? I am not going to keep trying.. with the 24 yr old especailly, as she continually wont speak to me..it's like I am invisible to her, she's a great worker but very immature at times, yet popular!!

I am a quieter but ok older worker, aged 40-50

what is with women badly treating other women at times? why so cliquey and exclusive??

View related questions: at work, co-worker, immature

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2017):

Maintain your cordial demeanor and stay professional at all times. Never-mind a couple of snooty people who prefer to create cliques and feel self-important.

I manage a large office, and I see how the more mature employees seem a little bit ignored by the under-30 crowd. They are of a different generation; and social media and a youth-oriented society tends to condone the polarization of of age-groups. Rudeness and snobbery is admired as "being real." As long as my workers show each other respect and common-courtesy; it's up to them to monitor their own interactions among their co-workers. When they violate policy or fall below proficiency; then it's my problem.

My advice is to maintain your dignity; and embrace your age, experience, and seniority. Being chummy with the bosses doesn't guarantee anything. Our more mature staff is reliable, productive, honest, and quite dependable during stressful times. They appreciate their jobs. We in higher management see this and take note of it. We observe some immaturity, lack of courtesy, and an over-developed sense of entitlement in the newcomers or younger staff. Time changes people. We have seminars and group-meetings which reminds them of the company's core values. They are not school-children, and we will not treat them as such. If they don't live up to our corporate requirements; we see them to the door. Regardless of age.

We pay and promote those who are productive. We give high praise to those who exhibit loyalty, professionalism, courtesy, enthusiasm, and take pride in their work.

Expect younger people to treat the workplace like a dating pool and the playground. They too shall grow older and experience the same treatment; only they will not handle it as well as our veterans. They don't have the benefit of the transition between generations. Their mentality is mass-produced and brainwashed by pop-culture and social media. So their adaptability to change may be more of a challenge. They forget they're on a time-clock; and think because we don't stand over their shoulder, we're not watching. We are.

You really shouldn't take these people so seriously. They don't sign your paycheck. Smile, be courteous, and be on your way. Someday, they may need your help; or may end-up answering to you. Focus on the job, leave employee behavior to Human Resources.

You're a naturally polite and pleasant person; but you're also mature and experienced enough to know there's always a little bit of a generation-gap you'll have to deal with. That's life, my dear. A professional-attitude rises above such petty little things.

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A male reader, judgedick France +, writes (29 July 2017):

judgedick agony auntTHE work place is full of people that want to get up higher and all they can see is the way to the top, Some people are just ignorant and what about them,

IN France as you come into work you must go around and give a check to check to everyone you work with, if you don't you would be putting your two feet in it,

Every country is different, in Ireland, you just say "how ya" and to your friends, you insult them, the better you are with them the better the insult,

best to forget them do your job to the best and one day they will need you,

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (29 July 2017):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntUncomfortable as it may feel for you to be ignored in this way, you are at WORK. You are all paid to WORK. If they enjoy a friendship as well, then that is a bonus for them. It is not an entitlement. Neither is it against any rules. They do not owe you friendship.

In your shoes, I would carry on being pleasant and just interacting with them when you need to for your work. You don't NEED their friendship. Their lack of manners is their problem, not yours. You cannot force people to be friendly.

To be honest, if you are twice their age, you are unlikely to have much in common. In my workplace we range in age from early 20s to early 60s. I usually try to stay out of conversations among the young girls, as they tend to revolve around body insecurity, fad diets, handbags, shoes and going out and getting drunk, all of which just make me want to roll my eyes. But that is fine because they are not my friends, just my work colleagues.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (29 July 2017):

Honeypie agony auntSome people never leave high school. They continue the cliques and attitude of a teenager.

They are your co-workers, NOT your friends. So be professional and ignore the petty clique behavior. No need to TRY and be "friends" as they are NOT interested.

Keep doing your job to the best of your ability, after all, THAT is why you are there.

Are they really treating you "bad" or do you just feel left out? They really don't owe you "friendship" just like you don't owe them a thing.

You CAN NOT change how others act or think. Or how YOU feel.

If the environment is unpleasant for you maybe looking for a new job?

Personally? I'd ignore them and go to work, work and then go home. I'd look for friends OUTSIDE the work place.

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