A
male
age
36-40,
*jekim
writes:I dated a girl a while back (we stopped dating cause our schedules didn't really match up) but then I graduated, and she graduates this semester. But I don't have a car, and shes like 40 minutes away. I haven't seen here in months, but we email very now and then.Anyway, she posted on Facebook, she has a piece in a gallery and sent one of those RSVP things. Saying they would be there till 6 till 9 I messaged her asking how long she would be there, she said she wasn't sure, I said I would be there after work at 8. She told me not to worry about it, and just tell her what I thought. I sent her another message, but she never responded.So it's this Friday, and I got a friend to take me up there, she might not be there by when I bet there, but at least I'll get to see her awesome work.But I can't stop thinking about her, why, I think it's obsessive thinking about someone like this? Then she recently changed her profile to a pic she took with some guy, and now I'm kinda jealous :P what should I do? I'm thinking about her so often now :(?
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (23 March 2011):
 She's signalled pretty clearly that she's not interested in you. I think I would find something else to do on Friday night instead, if I were you. Rather than feed the obsession, try to focus on other people and other activities for now.
As for why you are feeling this way about her, maybe there's something else going on in your life that is making you look for a distraction in her? Exams, school, family, illness, other stressors? Are you spending a lot of time alone? Rather than think about her, I think it might be healthier for you to think about yourself right now. Ask yourself some questions: how am I feeling? What am I feeling? What is happening around me? What is happening inside me? Do this with an open heart and open mind, with compassion for yourself and you may be surprised at some of the answers. Do this without judgement. What you feel isn't good or bad. It's just what you feel.
Good luck.
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