A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This might sound like a ridiculous question, but in all seriousness, when you're with a new boyfriend/girlfriend (one you've been with for some time but have never lived with, that is), how much do you mind being aware of their... umm... more human side? Like their need to pass gas (from either end!) or go to the toilet?I ask because according to my brother, men in particular hate to think that their girl has those bodily functions too - so although they don't find anything gross about sex, hearing their partner belch or break wind is a total turn-off. Obviously I don't mean setting out to make noises within earshot of your beloved, as I think it's far from being ladylike or gentlemanly! But if you happen to overhear it, does the memory stick with you, like "eww, gross!"?I'm going to stay over at my boyfriend's for the first time very soon, but he lives in a tiny studio flat. We've been away together on several occasions before (to hotels and suchlike), but I always end up with awful stomach cramps because I can't bear to use the en-suite bathroom with him in such close proximity. I'll be staying at his place for longer than our usual breaks last though, so if I hold it all in...Really people, how much does it matter? I know we're all human, and maybe when you're married or have lived together for ages it doesn't seem like a problem at all. But here and now I'm hating this! I'd be very grateful for another perspective or two, even if it's just to tell me to stop being silly. Thanks a lot :) x Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2011): Your brother is at one extreme of a spectrum, and not at the better end.
At the other end of that spectrum you have couples who will both go into the bathroom door so they don't interrupt their conversation.
Men realise that women are human too. How much you share of your basic human functions varies by couple and where they are in their lives. For example, once you've dealt with baby nappies a mere fart from your gf goes way under the radar.
Maybe the most embarrassing male experience concerning women's bodily functions happens at the supermarket. It's a rare man that experiences no embarrassment when buying tampons or pads for his gf who is at home in bed with a hot water bottle. But once you've done it a few times you become blase.
A
female
reader, auntyR +, writes (7 December 2011):
i always find that when you first start dating someone bodily functions are like a huge no no. But once you get to know them and feel relaxed around them farting turns into abit of a joke.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (7 December 2011):
 Is your brother 7years old and still living at home?
What are you going to do, leave the house to use the toilet? How do married people survive the first week? How come the world has 6billion people if men are so very sensitive. You got to go toilet, and so does your boyfriend. Any man who is so sensitive that he can't stand a woman's "bodily functions", ends up staying alone and away from people for life, or ends up in counselling because he may have serious mental problems.
Don't worry about it, I'm sure your boyfriend is aware you are human, or he wouldn't ask you to stay over. Same as when your at work or school, you belch and people make noise and then forget about it.
(Got to admit though, the belching and the farting, usually causes jokes or insults from both men and women, but it won't end the relationship or put him off sex)
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A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (7 December 2011):
 Once you're living together he's going to have to learn to be comfortable with it. But at the beginning, best to keep a little mystery. The first time I went on vacation with my current boyfriend, I went down to the lobby to poop and had him turn on the TV when I peed. Then as we got comfortable it changed to turning on the shower and TV if we were in the same hotel room. Then we moved in and we just flat out stopped caring at all and will comfortably talk about it.
Sounds like for you it is time to take this next step. just ask him to turn on some music or the TV and/or turn on the shower or faucet while you do your business. You can also schedule it so you do it right before you shower and just pretend you took a long shower.
Any guy who can't accept that their long term girlfriend has bodily functions is in for a rude awakening and a long lonely life.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (7 December 2011):
 You aren't being silly just unrealistic. He knows you need to poop and pee. Run the shower or sink faucet if you feel embarrassed about any noises you might make.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2011): That's so funny that you bring this up. I've always worried about it--that is, until I met my boyfriend. I don't have a problem with anyone else, because I understand (like the book already mentioned says)everyone has to do these things. Sorry. But it is a critical part of life and we need to accept it. Some people like to make a joke of it--some are totally turned off and grossed out. I don't mind anyone else, but I am very self-conscious of it regarding myself. But I've been more comfortable around my boyfriend (we both have 'gut-issues') and don't make a big deal about it. It is what it is. But yeah, good question!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 December 2011):
 some people mind some do not...
my boyfriend does not mind.... and I do not either... it's almost a joke with us...
There is a book for kids on potty training called "everybody poops" maybe get it for him and leave it on his pillow....
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