A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:When my fiancé moved to another city for a new job we decided he would get settled and find a nice place for us to live. Then the plan was that I would leave my job here and follow him. Once there I could look for another job, during which time he would support us. He has been gone 6 months, is still living with a friend, and has not found a place for us to move into. He says that he had quite a few expenses with the move, and with one thing and another money has been tight but he’s getting it sorted. Every time we speak about it he’s getting it sorted. A lot of times when I talk to him he’s been out drinking with his friends. (Now that seems to be something he is able to afford.) I hear a lot of talk and see nothing happening. He talks about getting married as soon as possible and how much he loves me and misses me but he doesn’t seem to be doing anything in a hurry. (Except drinking with the friends – a lot of these mushy conversations occur when he gets home after a few drinks.) I’ve got to pay all our usual bills where I’m still living on my own, and try to have some savings set aside for when I stop working, so it’s basically up to him. How long do I wait before I give up on him?
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female
reader, charitysend  +, writes (20 May 2011):
I'd give up on him now. Doesn't sound like he really wants to be with you. For all you know, he took that job so he could get away from you. Sometimes it's much easier to break up with someone by moving away and stalling than by telling them to their face. It sounds to me like that is what he is doing here.
A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (20 May 2011):
 Hi
Hunnie I would give it up now :( this man has now had 6 months, and seems to be enjoying his freedom, and not taking you seriously at all. Telling you he wants to marry you soon is his way of keeping you sweet. He is taking advantage ofyou. Next time he calls if itwere me I would say this to him ....
look I love you and I miss you, but I have now waited 6 months for you to get things sorted your end, but all you seem to be concerned about is when your going out for your next drink with freinds, when that money could have been saved up for our apartment. I dont want us to end, but Unless your going to take us seriously, you leave me no other choice. I can not spend the rest of my life waiting, I need to be with someone who CAN be a part of my life, here and now, not from afar. I miss you so much it hurts, I wont phone or text you for a couple ofweeks, this will give you enough time to think wether or not you still want me in your life.
Then I would let him say what he has to say, and really listn to him. but I would be adamant that we need a couple of weeks thinking space. Because I know I am worth more thanthat, and deserve better!!
I hope this has helped :) x
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