A
female
age
51-59,
*lb5285
writes:I recently ended my marriage and have a new bf who is a national rep. His work takes him away for overnights as well as many evening meetings. I hate how I act when he is away from home. I get super moody, I almost feel like he doesn't love me cause he is away. I am an educated women with a professional career and this behaviour actually makes me sick. We have lived together for 3 months and with his job...something can cone up and he has to go. It is slowly breaking down our relationship. He tells me he understands one minute and the next he says things like...it's work..why are you being like this? My dad left when I was 4 and I have no relationship with him..my mom was killed when I was 17 and I have no siblings. I get angry ...pouty and sometimes puck a fight when he is away. My bf is loving caring and kind and at times I think to myself he is better off without me. I recently moved 7 hours away from where I grew up...I have made a few friends in the past year but No one that I feel close enough to share this with.I am very Co dependant and have worked for years to try and change. Professionally I would be described as confident, above average intelligence but I feel like I can never do anything good enough. I came across this site after a Google search...I am seeking counselling but until I get an appointment I thought why not ask you. Thank you Tammy-lee Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Name  +, writes (22 April 2016):
Counselling would help you as well as going out and distracting yourself. If you stay home all day that can affect as well. My father works out of town as well and at first things were hard since me and my mother didn't know anything about the place we live. I couldn't drive nor had license. Now that I do I make sure we go out or tell her to go out even if I don't come along due to work.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (22 April 2016):
 Hi Tammy-lee,
I am glad you are seeking counselling for this because it sounds like you need to let go off a lot of issues that you have from your past. As a child and a teenager you had to go through a lot losing both parents. A counselor will help you close a door to that chapter in your life. Have you ever thought of trying to find your father to ask him why he left? Do you feel like you need closure?
As for you and your boyfriends relationship, I guess you are just more needy than you want to be. It does not make you a bad person, just someone who is lonely. Okay so you have not made a huge amount of friends, but have you any hobbies or interests? Something that you can do while he is away? If he is away for the night, maybe you could go for a walk? A Swim? Join a club, read a book. Just anything to keep you entertained. It seems you do have separation issues, more than likely stemming from your childhood, this is not your fault, so don't beat yourself up about it, you have seeked help and that's the first step to getting better and more independent.
If you feel anger while he is away, try and remember that he is working, not out clubbing with his mates. Take a pen and paper and write down all the good points about him, and when you feel lonely or angry at him read them and then re read them it might settle your mind.
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