A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How does a single sexually inexperienced 20 y/o lesbian female meet other lesbian females?I know it sounds silly, but I honestly do not know how to start dating.I am a 20 y/o female with no sexual experience (virgin) with males or females. I've had men show major interest in me pretty much since I was 13, however I've never been in a relationship for reasons I'd rather not say. Well.... now that I'm 20 and in a stable place in my life I feel like I'm ready to jump in dating scene.However....I'm finding it really difficult because I'm a lesbian and there doesn't seem to be any lesbians around here!If I wanted to date males it would be easy, but meeting women is hard because how the hell do I know if someone is gay or not? Do I just walk up to some cute girl and start flirting? I've never seen a girl show interest in me, so I'm seriously starting to think I'm the only lesbian in town!I thought Atlanta was supposed to be super gay friendly with lots of gay hot spots however I'm scared to go to a club because I'm looking for relationship/dating.... not one night stands.Please tell me how to start dating. Advice? Anything? I'm all ears.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you chigirl :) :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionEDIT
I've dated boys when I was younger, mostly to please my parents, however I am 100% gay/lesbian/attracted to women and I've known this since I was SIX years old. (:
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2010): have you tried a gay bar/club?
Online.. there are hundreds of sites that can help you.
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A
female
reader, Madalo 1  +, writes (2 September 2010):
Are you sure you're a lesbian?After all,you're a virgin-you havent differentiated between male and female sex.When i was a virgin i used to think that maybe im a lesbian,after all lesbian sex looks less painful in porn,and more spontaneous....But when i broke my virginity,which was with a guy,i realised im not a lesbian.I do have some gay fantasies here and there but i dont think i can classify myself as gay.So,are you super duper sure?Im just sayin....
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (2 September 2010):
 Alright, I have been in the same boat/are in the same boat. As a bisexual I have often ended up in relationships with men just because they come along a lot easier, and I fall in love. I know it is tricky to find the right women. Or women at all!
I don't know much about Atlanta, but by the sounds of it it is a larger city? I would suggest you go out on bars and clubs. I know, you are not looking for one-night stands, and I don't think you should have them either when you are not comfortable with it. But bars and clubs and the like offer a social contact that is hard to find elsewhere, and people under the influence of alcohol are more open and honest. You can go out, and MEET people. You might not meet the right woman for you, but with any luck she can become your friend in the lesbian society and introduce you to other lesbians. And then the snowball will start rolling. So you need to get out there and get the word on the street!
Also, if you have facebook, use it. Put up your sexuality on facebook for example. That way, when you meet new people, they will see that you are interested in women. Like you said yourself, it is hard to tell if someone is lesbian or straight, so why not put it out there? Then other women can hunt you down instead of you trying to look for them.
In my personal experience, most people are heterosexual. So you have a bit of a hunt ahead of you. Not only do you need to find a lesbian, but she also needs to be someone you actually like. The pool is small. You might have to go to dating websites or even try long-distance relationships. Just be careful with those, not all people online are serious!!! Always meet up in person before committing to anything.
Best of luck!
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