A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hello everyone. my question is mainly for females but its okay to have different point of views,i just want to know how can a lover really make sure that the girl is enjoying sex with the lover ?! how does a man determine or know that she really loves having sex and enjoys it with her lover! is it by her moaning or i dont know Different points of view are OKthank you all Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, zhacha  +, writes (3 July 2011):
A good, attentive lover will observe and ask about how a woman feels and responds. He will ask for her feed back as to what turns her on or off. Chemistry, love and affection go along way as well.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2011): you want to know how to determine the degree of how much she is or has enjoyed making love to you?
Of course I have no idea how many women you have made love to, nor how experienced you are at making love to a woman. Perhaps extensive experience, but, by asking that question it makes me wonder how much more you have yet to learn about loving a woman?
So I'd decided to include a few extras that are essential to factor in before the man can even get to that assessment stage, of how successful was his lovemaking?
It is a whole range of things and 50% of the effort to make that happen comes from you
And 50% of the effort is from her.
When a woman is not prepared to put in 50% of the effort you already know that you have not fully connected with her. And the outcome reflects that.
But when she is contributing in equal measure to you then that means you are doing well already.
Working together in unison you will see her 100% happy as things progress.
If the percentages are out of sync on either side, you don't have equilibrium happening.
The biggest sexual organ you and she each have is represented by your skin surfaces. But the most important organ that really matters is the brain. Bet you didn't think I'd say those two?
Wooing a woman's through her thoughts starts with appealing to her mind. By wooing her gently. Treating her respectfully. Being kind and thoughtful and considerate. Caring about her. Ensure that you smell nice, are very clean, hair clean.
And never forget all your senses and hers.
Sight, touch, smell, taste, hearing, thoughts, sensuality.
Neglect none of them during lovemaking.
And Stop, any time she says no.
Start lovemaking by talking to her in a respectful way. Listening to her sincerely. Using empathy. Don't be impatient. Allow enough time. Where there will be no interruptions
Keep talking to her softly as you touch her
Wanting to know what makes her tick. What is important to her. What she enjoys.
If you do it right you will feel her growing more comfortable in your presence. She may seek to touch you more. And not shrink nor tense from your touch.
Watch her reaction. If she mimics what you just did. That's a very good sign. Kissing ears, lips, neck, toes, fingers.
To a woman foreplay is everything. When you do it right the woman will desperately want you to take things further.
When a woman yields into you, you will know. This is a sure sign of her great trust and satisfaction with you. Every muscle in her body is relaxed.
As you take it to the next level you will feel if her rhythmn is in sync with your ryhthmn. If not you should soon get into a matching pace and become even more attuned to each other.. It becomes as a natural spontaneous just choreograph sensual dance together.
Any time a woman retreats from your touch, or shrinks back from wanting to touch any part of you then you have not remained on course.
So any time that happens slow down, ask her what she wants more of, or less of.
Because every woman is different. And every woman has different needs.
A boring lover just has the same set way every time.
Attuned lovers adjust constantly to suit their lover at the time.
But if you are on the right track you will be aware of heightened sensations. Better natural lubrication.
And more and more relaxed body muscles. The tension being released as your bodies respond to more touching, stroking, licking, kissing etc
In fact as you continue you are not sure where her body starts and your body ends. From then on it's all good.
Her body will liquify into yours. And your body will liquify into hers.
And you will both know, just a look, just a pervading feeling of being totally comfortable in each other's arms that you have fully satisfied each other, equally. Which is as it should be. You will feel her fully yielding back into your embrace, complete.
you will feel it in your brain, in your skin, in your bones,
and so will she,
satisfaction.
And in the aftermath she may even feel as if her womanly parts are still floating on air even 10 hours after your lovemaking finished.
Now that's satisfaction!
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A
female
reader, adamantine  +, writes (20 February 2011):
 I think you'll know if she's breathing heavy, or breathing in short, raspy breaths. Being wet is a good sign, and making sounds. Just try to read her body language. Her eyes and facial expressions can give it away too.
Its not a good sign if she's just lying there like a dead fish ;)
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (20 February 2011):
 Pay attention to the sounds she makes, the speed of her breath (faster is better), the way she moves, if she's active and passionate that is the best. If she's wet downstairs it's a good sign, if she responds to your kisses with passion, if she rubs up against you eager for more. Things like that. Or you could ask her what signs she gives out when she enjoys herself. Talk about it. Every woman reacts slightly differently. The points I listed up are the main things most women have in common though. But some women for example don't moan or make sounds when they enjoy themselves, they go quiet (concentrating on the pleasure). So instead of guessing you should pay attention to how she behaves when you do different things, and then you could also talk to her about it. But, often we don't know ourselves how we react when we enjoy something, so it's easier to ask her what things she enjoy the most from you, and then check how she reacts when you do those things.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (20 February 2011):
 A mixture of things really I think. It helps if you are both relaxed and confident with eachother. You could ask her what she likes and try things to see her reaction. A woman moaning isn't really an indication that she's having a good time. Some women moan, some don't, some moan when they are faking it, some will tell you flat out that you arn't satisfying them.
Some women like the gentle approach and some like it a little rough...you really need to get close and ask your woman how you can satisfy her in a way she really likes. Romance also goes a long way and being attentive and tuned in to her is good.
Talk to her.
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